Satire

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam – In a phenomenon that has left many astounded and a little concerned, the streets of Vietnam are flooded with self-proclaimed experts who have attained all their knowledge through podcasts hosted by none other than the infamous Jordan Peterson, Sam Harris, Douglas Murray and their ilk. These newfound English speakers, commonly known as the “Podcastholes,” have taken over the nation, armed with their proficiency in a language and a newfound sense of superiority.

Move over, traditional language learning methods. Say hello to “Asshole-English,” Vietnam’s latest craze, where being a pompous know-it-all is the ultimate goal. To become an expert in any subject and irritate those around you, simply give Jordan Peterson a listen, take his words as gospel, and voila – you’re now an English-speaking Einstein in the eyes of the locals!

It all started innocently enough. Vietnam, like many developing nations, has been on a quest to improve its English language proficiency. But alongside progress came a peculiar obsession with persona-driven podcasts and YouTube channels. The self-proclaimed experts who emerged from this linguistic evolution soon became a source of both amusement and irritation.

What has become crystal clear is that Vietnamese English speakers, fueled by their newfound linguistic skills, have transformed themselves into entitled and insufferable beings. Armed with half-digested intellectual jargon and a limited understanding of complex subjects, the Podcastholes have descended upon society, armed with the unwavering belief that their opinions are gold.

Don’t be surprised if you overhear a group of Vietnamese Podcastholes or Expats passionately debating a topic they barely grasp in broken English. From politics to psychology, these linguistic virtuosos traverse the landscape of expertise with ease, often citing Peterson as the ultimate authority on life’s mysteries.

Meanwhile, locals have started experiencing a rude awakening when encountering the Podcasthole … Read more

One experienced English teacher has revealed his secret desire to escape the confines of the classroom and instead seek out job listings that include an abundance of administrative nonsense and dubious perks. Mr. Grumbleton, a seasoned educator who wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons. According to him, the last thing he wants to do is be in the classroom teaching, and he actively looks for a place that offers mind-numbing bureaucracy and lackluster professional growth opportunities.

“I’m tired of inspiring young minds and making a difference. What I really crave is an environment that’s filled with as much administrative bullshit as possible,” Mr. Grumbleton confessed with a forlorn expression. “Why settle for engaging lessons and enthusiastic students when I can have endless paperwork and tedious meetings? It’s the dream.”

For Mr. Grumbleton, the ideal job listing includes phrases such as “professional development,” “workshops,” and “training.” These triggers send waves of excitement throughout his body as he envisions countless hours spent in mind-numbing workshops that contribute very little to his actual teaching abilities. “I love it when they dangle the promise of growth and learning, only to provide me with PowerPoint presentations that would make anyone question their career choices,” he chuckled.

To add to the allure, Mr. Grumbleton finds it particularly appealing if the job requires him to build demo lessons from scratch. “Because let’s be honest, what I’d really like to do instead of teaching is spend countless nights brainstorming and meticulously crafting perfect lessons, ensuring that my creativity is exhausted even before I step into the classroom,” he explained with a hint of sarcasm.

Another teacher, who we will refer to as Mrs. Gung-Ho, shares Mr. Grumbleton’s unconventional cravings. “Oh, I absolutely love it when there are excessive classroom observations,” she chimed in. “Nothing gets my adrenaline … Read more