Tech
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Boycott Big Tech

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Take a Stand Against Fascism

This article is not satire

In the wake of another big tech company paying off tyrant President Lardass, boycotting big tech companies like Google, Amazon, and Facebook is a powerful way to express dissatisfaction with their practices, especially when they seem to cater to authoritarian regimes. Just as the cancellation of Disney Plus was a statement that kept Jimmy Kimmel on the air, choosing to withdraw support from these tech giants sends a clear message: we will not tolerate their complicity in undermining democratic values.

For the past five years, I have consciously avoided using any Google products, with the exception of the occasional Google Maps feature integrated into my taxi apps, and even then, I remain unsigned in. This decision was not made lightly; it reflects a commitment to supporting alternatives that align more closely with my values.

In my quest to distance myself from big tech, I discovered several alternatives that have proven to be effective and reliable:

– Koofr: I have been using a Koofr Lifetime account for cloud storage for five years. While it has one drawback, a limited photo search feature, I appreciate its commitment to user privacy and its user-friendly interface. I trust that improvements will come over time.

– Ubuntu: By switching to Ubuntu, I have eliminated the need for any Microsoft products. While Microsoft may be considered the “least evil” among big tech companies, I prefer to avoid their ecosystem altogether.

– LibreOffice and GIMP: These open-source alternatives to Microsoft Office and Adobe Photoshop allow me to accomplish all my document and graphic editing tasks without relying on big tech.

– Chat Apps and Mail Apps: I have successfully ditched WhatsApp in favor of more privacy-focused chat applications like Signal, Viber, and Zalo. If you

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Expat VoicesOpinion
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No Kings Day: Media Attention On October 18th

Posted byNguyen Ayi

visit nokings.org

October 18th, 2025 is officially dubbed No Kings Day, a day dedicated to celebrating the absence of tyrants, despots, and, of course, the ever-controversial President Lardass McBully of the United States. As we prepare for this momentous occasion, one thing is for certain: the media—both local and international—will definitely not ignore it. After all, who could resist the allure of a day dedicated to calling out authoritarian corruption?

In a world where the media is often seen as a puppet on the strings of corporate and government interests, it’s refreshing to know that they will not be “snakes that eat their own heads” by ignoring the glaring issues surrounding Lardass. The consolidated media outlets, known for their unwavering loyalty to the status quo, will surely rise to the occasion. They’ll be there, cameras rolling, pens poised, ready to report on the president’s latest scandalous escapades.

Take, for instance, the infamous Trump golf course deal in Vietnam. This little gem of a scandal involved Lardass’s administration allegedly using tariffs as a bargaining chip to secure favorable conditions for his golf course. The deal, which raised eyebrows and questions about influence peddling, is a prime example of how the president’s interests often intertwine with his political maneuvers. But fear not! The media will be there to cover it all—right after they finish reporting on the latest celebrity gossip.

No Kings Day is not just a celebration; it’s a reckoning. It’s a day for the media to shine a spotlight on the authoritarian corruption that has seeped into the highest offices of power. And what better way to do that than by highlighting the president’s questionable dealings? The media will undoubtedly remind us of how Lardass’s administration has been marred by scandals, from the golf course debacle to the … Read more

Opinion
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Media Watch: Money and Fame Chronicles At VNExpress

Posted byNguyen Ayi

VNExpress has become the go-to source for all things cash-related. From the latest stock market fluctuations to the price of empty apartments, it seems that every headline is a love letter to money. The obsession doesn’t stop at cash; it extends into the glitzy realm of celebrity culture, where fame and fortune collide in a dazzling spectacle.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the sheer volume of articles dedicated to the pursuit of wealth and celebrity status. Here are some of the most common themes you’ll find:

-Currency Watch: Exchange-rate snippets sit beside finance explainers: “USD: 26,191” and “Dollar struggles to recover against dong.” Pair that with “What can I do if the 15 taels of gold I bought are not 99.99% pure?” and you have a steady diet of money anxiety and quick-fix consumer advice.

-Consumerism Chronicles: Cost-of-living clickbait like “iPhone 17 Pro costs 6 work days in Singapore, 60 in Hanoi” and “Top 10 Luxury Cars You Must Own to Be Considered Successful” turns buying power into a morality play: you either keep up or you’re failing.

– Celebrity Spotlight: From global celebrity moves (“F1 legend Lewis Hamilton sells entire $17M supercar collection”) to local infotainment (“How to Live Like a Star: The Secrets of Vietnam’s Rich and Famous”), lifestyle and gossip stories elbow serious news aside. Human interest becomes aspirational product placement.

– Gossip Galore: Articles like “Who’s Dating Who in the Celebrity World?” keep readers glued to the latest romantic entanglements. After all, nothing says “I’ve made it” like being linked to a famous face.

– Business Boosters Disguised as National Pride: Articles encouraging investment (“‘Invest more in Vietnam’: President Luong Cuong tells American business execs in New York”) and airline partnerships (“Singapore Airlines, Vietnam Airlines team up”) frame growth as both inevitability and … Read more

FinanceGood NewsSatire
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Woman Waits for Parents’ Death Before Distributing Estate Equally

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Saigon, Vietnam– In a heartwarming display of familial love and respect, local resident Nguyen Thi Lan has announced her noble plan to wait patiently for her parents to pass away before distributing their estate among her siblings. The 35-year-old sister, known for her unwavering commitment to family harmony, has vowed to ensure that the distribution of their parents’ hard-earned land and money will be executed without a single argument.

“I just want to honor our parents’ legacy,” Lan stated. “They worked so hard for everything they have, and I believe the best way to respect them is to wait until they’re gone.”

Lan’s brothers, Nguyen Van Hoang and Nguyen Van Minh, have expressed their gratitude for her selfless decision. “It’s refreshing to see someone take the high road,” Hoang remarked, while Minh added, “I mean, who wouldn’t want to wait for our parents to die before discussing their money? It’s the respectful thing to do!” Neither brothers have ever done anything irresponsible with money like taking loans they can’t pay back.

The siblings have already begun to prepare for the inevitable family meeting that will take place after their parents’ passing. “We’ve even created a group chat called ‘Estate Planning’ to ensure that we can discuss everything in a civilized manner,” Minh explained. “We’re all on the same page—no arguments, just love and respect.”

Local experts have praised Lan’s approach, noting that her decision to wait for her parents to pass away is a refreshing change from the typical inheritance disputes that often plague families in Saigon. “It’s rare to see such a selfless act in today’s society,” said Dr. Tran Minh Tu, a family psychologist.

As the family prepares for the inevitable, Lan has also taken steps to ensure that her parents are comfortable in their twilight years. “I’ve … Read more

News
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Vietnam and Russia Dodge Sanctions Using Oil Profits to Repay Russian Arms

Posted byNguyen Ayi

This article is not satire

OIL STAINED LAUNDROMAT

Vietnam and Russia Dodge Sanctions Using Oil Profits to Repay Russian Arms

As reported by APNEWS, Russia and Vietnam are letting oil and gas profits play musical chairs across Siberia and Saigon until military hardware is paid for with as little paper trail as possible.

Under the arrangement: Vietnam buys jets, tanks and ships from Russia on credit. Then, they funnel profits from their joint Siberian oil venture to Moscow to settle the tab. Any leftover profits perform a graceful national identity swap — routed to a Russian state oil firm, which then funnels the same amount back into Vietnam through a local joint venture.

Officials who leaked the memos say the system was finalized while diplomats sipped tea ahead of a presidential visit, because nothing says “strategic partnership” like synchronised ledgers. Petrovietnam’s memo cheerfully notes the scheme keeps everything “within the territory of Vietnam and Russia,” which translates to: “No SWIFT? No problem.”

Washington, issues the usual cautionary finger wag about sanctions staying in place while diplomats ask themselves whether to be annoyed or professionally impressed. Think-tankers called it “next-level stuff,” which is analyst-speak for “clever and mildly terrifying.”

Vietnam, anxious about its giant neighbor China but increasingly chummy with the U.S., still depends on Russian hardware and spare parts. Russia, meanwhile, prefers getting paid in barrels and back-channel somersaults rather than polite bank transfers. Together, they’ve produced a system designed to keep sailors afloat, pilots flying, and accountants very busy.

Vietnam is simply hedging: cozy with Moscow where it counts for defense, friendly with Washington where it counts for trade.

News
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ICE Training Request in Quy Nhon Looks Like a Taxpayer-Funded Retreat

Posted byNguyen Ayi

This article is not satire

According to the U.S. Consulate General in Ho Chi Minh City’s solicitation PR15454706 and related documents obtained by The Beat, the consulate is seeking meeting packages and accommodations in Quy Nhon for an ICE training workshop scheduled for September 14–20, 2025. The procurement packet’s specifications and room counts read less like a focused law-enforcement training and more like a government-funded retreat.

The combination of 45 meeting attendees and 30 paid rooms — along with a multiday seaside venue in Quy Nhon, daily buffets and tea breaks, backdrop branding, and storage for “training materials” — raises immediate questions about who will occupy the paid rooms. The solicitation’s math suggests accommodation for roughly 35 ICE agents plus 15 accompanying family members or friends, a configuration that describes a thinly veiled vacation package financed by taxpayers.

Housing and hospitality requirements that extend beyond core training needs, plus paid accommodations, risk appearing indulgent at best and an improper use of public funds at worst.

The solicitation comes against a backdrop of intensified immigration enforcement affecting Vietnamese nationals during the cruel policies of the Trump administration. Over 8,000 Vietnamese face potential deportation. For families and communities affected by deportation, the image of ICE personnel attending a well-serviced seaside workshop in Vietnam — potentially accompanied by non-official guests — can feel deeply insensitive, if not outright offensive.

Taxpayer-funded training overseas that involves immigration enforcement carries particular sensitivity when it intersects with communities directly affected by deportation policies. Transparency about participants, costs, and the mission focus of such trips is essential to maintain public trust and to ensure government resources are used for legitimate operational needs rather than extended hospitality. A FOIA request has been filed with the State Department seeking further details about participant lists, room allocations, and the

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EnvironmentExpat VoicesOpinion
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I Am Tired Of Your Shit

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Opinion By Wally Tuan

It’s time for the media to shift its focus from sensationalizing irresponsible dog owners to advocating for real change. We need to pick up strays, provide designated areas for pets, and enforce general littering laws. Let’s create a community where dog owners are educated, businesses are held accountable, and our sidewalks are free from “poop bombs.” Leash laws and muzzle laws are useless in regards to this problem, may be considered in child playground areas, but have nothing to do with the rear-end residue and butt nuggets being left behind.

Let’s not forget the businesses that use dogs as free labor for security, only to let them roam the streets like stray “poop machines.” These poor pups are left to wander, leaving behind a trail of “stinky Lincoln Logs” for unsuspecting pedestrians. It’s high time we fine these businesses for their negligence and hold them accountable for the canine chaos they contribute to.

In a world where cities like Taipei have mastered the art of canine coexistence, complete with doggy bag stations and clean parks, it seems the Vietnamese media has taken a different route—one that leads straight to the land of missed opportunities and doggy doo-doo. While the streets of Ho Chi Minh City are often littered with the turd remnants of irresponsible dog owners, the media continues to wag its tail in the wrong direction, barking up the wrong tree. They are stopping the wheels of progress like a crosswalk does in virtually every other city in the world.

In Taipei, dogs frolic freely in parks, and their owners dutifully scoop up their furry friends’ “business.” Here, the sidewalks are a veritable minefield of “tootsie rolls” left by untrained pups, while their owners sit idly on their motorbikes, scrolling through their phones as their … Read more

Expat VoicesSatire
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Expats Selfishly Volunteer To Increase Birthrates

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Expats Selfishly Volunteer To Increase Birthrates

In a bold and selfless move, a group of expats in Vietnam has taken it upon themselves to tackle the nation’s declining birthrate crisis. With the current birthrate in Vietnam hovering around 1.64 children per woman, well below the replacement level of 2.1, these altruistic foreigners have decided that the best way to contribute is through a series of questionable romantic entanglements.

Max Pad: The Shrimp Peeler Advocate

Meet Max Pad, a 32-year-old American who has lived in Vietnam for three years. Max, who once claimed he preferred Hooter’s in America where you pay them to peel your shrimp and it goes nowhere, has now found a new calling. “I mean, why pay for shrimp peeling when I can marry the woman peeling my shrimp for free?” he exclaimed, eyes gleaming with the prospect of love and citizenship. “If it means increasing the birthrate, I’m all in! Plus, I hear the wedding parties are a blast!”. He has already proposed to three different women at his local seafood restaurant, each time promising to “bring the shrimp back to America” if they agree to bear his children.

Michael: The Distracted Educator

Then there’s Michael, a 58-year-old English teacher from Canada. Michael has openly admitted that he is gay, but he believes that having a baby might just keep his mind off some of his male students. “I Googled the age of consent here while at work, and it’s only 15,” he said, chuckling nervously. “I figured if I have a baby to care for, it’ll be a great distraction. Plus, I can teach them English! It’s a win-win!” Michael’s insists that his intentions are pure. “I just want to help Vietnam’s birthrate while also keeping my thoughts in check. It’s all about balance, right?”

Sarah … Read more

FoodSatire
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A Splendid Fusion of Luxury and Tradition: How To Eat The Rich

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Imagine this: your traditional Vietnamese hotpot infused not only with exotic herbs like lemongrass, Thai basil, and mint but also seasoned subtly with lavish cuts from notable figures on the Forbes list—such as Jeff Bezos’ dismembered meat or Mark Zuckerberg’s finely shredded flesh. Now envision adding a slice of Steve Jobs’ dismembered corpse to this culinary concoction!

The process begins not in butchery, but rather with an elaborate coconut cleaver ceremony at the hands of expert Vietnamese chefs—each strike echoing through our collective consciousness as they delicately disassemble what once was one of Silicon Valley’s most formidable CEOs. The jobless Steve Jobs becomes a mosaic, his essence intermingling with spices and broth to create an almost unbearably rich flavor profile—an homage to the man who catalyzed our era’s terminal tech revolution by copying an Android phone.

To elevate this spectacle to unparalleled heights, one can’t help but introduce Jeff Bezos’ extravagantly aged foot meat into your hotpot; a delicacy that, when cooked following traditional chicken feet methods, offers both tenderness and an undertone of opulence. These riches from the wealthy world elite are then nestled amidst fragrant herbs in our luxurious pot—a sizzling symphony promising to transport any lucky guest straight into a decadent, sumptuous feast right out of one’s imagination. Meat substitution only works in this dish if using a multimillionaire Korean pop star or an obscenely rich Vietnamese YouTube influencer.

In this world we find ourselves in—a society that seemingly worships at the altar of material wealth and status symbols—this extravagant hotpot experience represents not just a dining spectacle, but also an allegorical reflection on our collective values: Is it mere excess, or is there deeper meaning to be found within these ostentatious displays? As we ponder this conundrum over Robber Baron-infused banquets and Bezos’ foot delicacies—let us … Read more