Opinion

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I Am Tired Of Your Shit

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Opinion By Wally Tuan

It’s time for the media to shift its focus from sensationalizing irresponsible dog owners to advocating for real change. We need to pick up strays, provide designated areas for pets, and enforce general littering laws. Let’s create a community where dog owners are educated, businesses are held accountable, and our sidewalks are free from “poop bombs.” Leash laws and muzzle laws are useless in regards to this problem, may be considered in child playground areas, but have nothing to do with the rear-end residue and butt nuggets being left behind.

Let’s not forget the businesses that use dogs as free labor for security, only to let them roam the streets like stray “poop machines.” These poor pups are left to wander, leaving behind a trail of “stinky Lincoln Logs” for unsuspecting pedestrians. It’s high time we fine these businesses for their negligence and hold them accountable for the canine chaos they contribute to.

In a world where cities like Taipei have mastered the art of canine coexistence, complete with doggy bag stations and clean parks, it seems the Vietnamese media has taken a different route—one that leads straight to the land of missed opportunities and doggy doo-doo. While the streets of Ho Chi Minh City are often littered with the turd remnants of irresponsible dog owners, the media continues to wag its tail in the wrong direction, barking up the wrong tree. They are stopping the wheels of progress like a crosswalk does in virtually every other city in the world.

In Taipei, dogs frolic freely in parks, and their owners dutifully scoop up their furry friends’ “business.” Here, the sidewalks are a veritable minefield of “tootsie rolls” left by untrained pups, while their owners sit idly on their motorbikes, scrolling through their phones as their … Read more

CrimeOpinionSatire
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Ho Chi Minh City’s Graffiti Artists Should Have Fingers Removed

Posted byNguyen Ayi

A war should be waged—not against crime, but against the unsightly scourge of bad graffiti artists. While the city is home to some truly talented street artists who elevate the urban landscape with their vibrant murals, a growing number of so-called “artists” are defacing public property with their lackluster scribbles and juvenile doodles. It’s time to take a stand against this artistic travesty.

The influx of mediocre graffiti artists has led to a plague of poorly executed tags and mind-numbing scribbles that do nothing but tarnish the city’s image. These “artists” seem to believe that spray paint is a magic wand that can turn any surface into a masterpiece. Your “Question Everything” stupid lettering isn’t art or some deep philosophical point; it is a dumb, cynical worldview in a world where facts matter. Read a book, asshole.

It’s time to propose finger removal as a fitting punishment for these offenders. One by one, the fingers of these misguided artists should be severed, a symbolic gesture to remind them that their lack of skill has consequences. Including finger removal, regardless of age, the vandal will be put through the following sessions during a mandatory thirty-year prison sentence:

– The Paintball Gauntlet: After losing a finger, the artist must run through a gauntlet of paintball guns, where they will be pelted with colorful projectiles. Giant bruises will serve as a reminder of their artistic failures but also provide a splash of color to the otherwise drab punishment. The so-called artist will be tied to a wood plank so skilled sharpshooters can aim directly at their genitalia.

– The Mural of Shame: Each artist must create a mural depicting their own incompetence, using only the remaining fingers on their non-dominant hand. This will serve as a public display of their artistic shortcomings, ensuring … Read more

NewsOpinion
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Vietnamese Trump Supporters: Embracing Ignorance

Posted byNguyen Ayi

It has come to light that Vietnamese citizens have developed an inexplicable affection for former US President Donald Trump. Inspired by his tough business attitude of not paying contractors and his many beautiful wives, the people of Vietnam seem to have overlooked some minor details. It appears they missed out on the 40-count indictment regarding classified documents, and a laundry list of Trump’s close associates having run-ins with the law.

Unbeknownst to the Vietnamese people, Trump’s political guru and onetime chief strategist, Steve Bannon, was charged with defrauding donors in a border wall fundraising campaign. It seems that Bannon’s alleged wrongdoing doesn’t quite match up to their admiration for Trump’s “business acumen” at first glance.

Vietnamese Trump enthusiasts also blissfully disregard the fact that Trump’s onetime lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen, pleaded guilty to tax fraud, lying to Congress, and campaign finance violations. He even facilitated hush money payments to women who claimed to have had affairs with the President. But hey, let’s focus on Trump’s ability to maintain a successful marriage, right?

The people of Vietnam seem completely oblivious to the grand jury’s decision to indict Trump on multiple felony counts of business record falsification. It appears that the Vietnamese admiration for Trump’s financial prowess overshadows these minor legal inconveniences.

And what about Paul Manafort, Trump’s onetime campaign chairman? He’s currently serving a 7.5-year sentence for tax and banking crimes, conspiring, and obstructing justice. But let’s not let something as trivial as criminal behavior tarnish our fascination with Trump’s impeccable taste in personnel.

With the Vietnamese people’s unwavering admiration for Trump, it’s evident that they haven’t been paying attention to the long list of individuals surrounding him facing their own legal woes. Roger Stone, a close friend and political adviser, was even convicted of seven charges related to lying … Read more

EnvironmentNewsOpinion
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Vietnam’s Rare Earth Mining Expansion: Profits And Green-Washing?

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Opinion by Karen Cohen

Vietnam, known for its vast untapped rare earth resources, is ramping up its efforts to expand mining activities in this sector. The potential economic benefits are undeniable, with billions in profits expected for both energy companies and government-connected oligarchs. However, amidst these promises, questions arise concerning the environmental impact of rare earth mining and whether governments are truly prioritizing sustainability or merely engaging in green-washing.

Vietnam’s Rare Earth Potential:

Vietnam has joined the ranks of China, Russia, and Brazil as one of the world’s leading countries in terms of untapped rare earth resources. According to the U.S. Geological Survey’s Mineral Commodity Summaries, January 2023, Vietnam boasts a staggering 22,000,000 metric tons of rare earth reserves. Furthermore, a plan signed by Deputy Prime Minister Tran Hong Ha reveals Vietnam’s goal to mine two million metric tons of rare earths annually by 2030 (Tuoi Tre).

Environmental Concerns:

The negative environmental impact of rare earth mining is well-documented, and it is vital to discern whether governments truly prioritize sustainable practices in their pursuit of profits. China serves as a cautionary tale, with its rare earth industry causing severe damage to the ecological environment, including the destruction of vegetation, pollution of surface water, groundwater, and farmland, and even landslides and clogged rivers (China’s State Council).

The Danger of Toxic Waste:

Both the mining and processing of rare earths contribute to mountains of toxic waste, leading to significant environmental and health hazards. For every ton of rare earth produced, staggering amounts of waste are generated, including 13 kg of dust, 9,600-12,000 cubic meters of waste gas, 75 cubic meters of wastewater, and one ton of radioactive residue. Rare earth ores often contain radioactive thorium and uranium, resulting in particularly detrimental health effects. In total, the production … Read more

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Ho Chi Minh City’s Sidewalk Fees Threaten Its Vibrant Street Food Culture

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Opinion By Kate Cohen

The sidewalk fees, as proposed by the authorities, are nothing short of a ‘poor tax.’

Ho Chi Minh City, with its bustling streets and delicious street food, has long been regarded as a food lover’s paradise. Sidewalks filled with fragrant stalls serving affordable and tasty culinary delights have not only become an integral part of the city’s unique identity but also a lifeline for many locals during challenging economic times. However, the recently imposed sidewalk fees by the authorities threaten to dismantle this vibrant street food scene, adversely impacting both the city’s cultural heritage and struggling entrepreneurs.

The Unique Street Food Culture at Stake:

Street food is deeply rooted in the fabric of Ho Chi Minh City’s identity. The city’s sidewalks have served as a canvas for vendors to showcase their culinary talents, allowing locals and tourists alike to experience the true flavors of Vietnam. From Chao to Bánh Xèo, the street food scene offers a diverse range of affordable options, enabling people of all economic backgrounds to indulge in the city’s gastronomic delights.

Survival in Challenging Economic Times:

For many street vendors, the sidewalk stalls are not just a means of making a livelihood but a symbol of resilience amidst economic hardships. The sidewalk trade provides an entry point to entrepreneurship for those with limited resources, enabling them to earn a decent income and support their families. By charging exorbitant fees for the use of sidewalk space, the city officials are effectively squeezing the lifeblood out of these small businesses, pushing them towards closure.

The Poor Tax Dilemma:

The sidewalk fees, as proposed by the authorities, are nothing short of a ‘poor tax.’ This regressive measure disproportionately affects the vulnerable sections of society, punishing struggling entrepreneurs who relied on the sidewalks to survive. With fees … Read more

Opinion
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Plastic Pollution Is Next Generation’s Problem

Posted byNguyen Ayi

By Nguyen Ayi

Vietnam, the land of the rising sun and an ocean of plastic! The current generation is well aware of the plastic problem that’s been choking the country, but they’re in no mood to make any sacrifices. They’d rather sip their bubble tea through a plastic straw and toss it aside, adding to the already overflowing piles of plastic waste. The next generation can worry about it, right?

Who needs responsibility when you can just blame it on the young? They’ll take care of it all, with their fancy eco-friendly products and sustainable practices. But let’s not forget the current generation’s contributions to the plastic apocalypse. From using single-use plastics to hoarding unnecessary items, their actions have led to the current state of affairs.

What’s worse is that the current generation seems to be completely oblivious to the impact their actions have on the environment. They’re too busy snapping selfies and scrolling through Instagram, living in a bubble of their own creation. They believe that the environment will fix itself and that they won’t be around to see the consequences of their actions.

But little do they know that they’ll be the ones drowning in plastic, not the fish. The plastic waste will persist long after they’re gone, affecting the quality of life for generations to come. It’s time for the current generation to take responsibility for their actions and work towards a sustainable future.

So, what can the next generation do to fix this mess? They can start by saying “no” to plastic and pushing for more environmentally-friendly policies and practices. They can raise awareness about the impact of plastic pollution on the environment and work towards creating a cleaner, greener Vietnam.

In conclusion, the plastic problem in Vietnam is a shared responsibility that requires collective action. … Read more

Opinion
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Vietnam: The Land of Loud Phones

Posted byNguyen Ayi

By Nguyen Ayi

When it comes to phone etiquette, there are some universal rules that everyone follows. Don’t shout into your phone on a crowded train. Don’t blast your music out loud in a library. And for the love of all that is good and holy, don’t take a call during a movie.

But what if we told you that there’s a place where all these rules go out the window? A place where playing your phone loudly on speaker is not only accepted, but practically encouraged?

Welcome to Vietnam, where the sound of phones ringing and music blasting is as common as the smell of pho in the air. Here, you don’t have to worry about bothering other people with your phone calls or music choices. In fact, if you’re not playing your phone loudly, you might as well be a hermit living under a rock.

So why is Vietnam so obsessed with loud phones? Well, it’s all about the Vietnamese people’s friendly nature. They want to share their lives with everyone around them, whether it’s Baby Shark on repeat or the details of their latest doctor’s appointment.

And let’s be real here – privacy is overrated. Who needs it when you can hear your neighbor’s entire conversation with their mom about what they had for breakfast? It’s like getting free entertainment without even trying.

But don’t think you can just whip out your phone and start blaring your music anywhere you want. Go ahead and let your phone play loudly on speaker. Who knows – you might even make some new friends who share your love for K-pop or Taylor Swift.

But overall, the Vietnamese people’s love for loud phones is just another example of their outgoing and friendly nature. So the next time you’re in Vietnam, embrace … Read more