News

Tech
0

Boycott Big Tech

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Take a Stand Against Fascism

This article is not satire

In the wake of another big tech company paying off tyrant President Lardass, boycotting big tech companies like Google, Amazon, and Facebook is a powerful way to express dissatisfaction with their practices, especially when they seem to cater to authoritarian regimes. Just as the cancellation of Disney Plus was a statement that kept Jimmy Kimmel on the air, choosing to withdraw support from these tech giants sends a clear message: we will not tolerate their complicity in undermining democratic values.

For the past five years, I have consciously avoided using any Google products, with the exception of the occasional Google Maps feature integrated into my taxi apps, and even then, I remain unsigned in. This decision was not made lightly; it reflects a commitment to supporting alternatives that align more closely with my values.

In my quest to distance myself from big tech, I discovered several alternatives that have proven to be effective and reliable:

– Koofr: I have been using a Koofr Lifetime account for cloud storage for five years. While it has one drawback, a limited photo search feature, I appreciate its commitment to user privacy and its user-friendly interface. I trust that improvements will come over time.

– Ubuntu: By switching to Ubuntu, I have eliminated the need for any Microsoft products. While Microsoft may be considered the “least evil” among big tech companies, I prefer to avoid their ecosystem altogether.

– LibreOffice and GIMP: These open-source alternatives to Microsoft Office and Adobe Photoshop allow me to accomplish all my document and graphic editing tasks without relying on big tech.

– Chat Apps and Mail Apps: I have successfully ditched WhatsApp in favor of more privacy-focused chat applications like Signal, Viber, and Zalo. If you

… Read more
FinanceGood NewsSatire
0

Woman Waits for Parents’ Death Before Distributing Estate Equally

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Saigon, Vietnam– In a heartwarming display of familial love and respect, local resident Nguyen Thi Lan has announced her noble plan to wait patiently for her parents to pass away before distributing their estate among her siblings. The 35-year-old sister, known for her unwavering commitment to family harmony, has vowed to ensure that the distribution of their parents’ hard-earned land and money will be executed without a single argument.

“I just want to honor our parents’ legacy,” Lan stated. “They worked so hard for everything they have, and I believe the best way to respect them is to wait until they’re gone.”

Lan’s brothers, Nguyen Van Hoang and Nguyen Van Minh, have expressed their gratitude for her selfless decision. “It’s refreshing to see someone take the high road,” Hoang remarked, while Minh added, “I mean, who wouldn’t want to wait for our parents to die before discussing their money? It’s the respectful thing to do!” Neither brothers have ever done anything irresponsible with money like taking loans they can’t pay back.

The siblings have already begun to prepare for the inevitable family meeting that will take place after their parents’ passing. “We’ve even created a group chat called ‘Estate Planning’ to ensure that we can discuss everything in a civilized manner,” Minh explained. “We’re all on the same page—no arguments, just love and respect.”

Local experts have praised Lan’s approach, noting that her decision to wait for her parents to pass away is a refreshing change from the typical inheritance disputes that often plague families in Saigon. “It’s rare to see such a selfless act in today’s society,” said Dr. Tran Minh Tu, a family psychologist.

As the family prepares for the inevitable, Lan has also taken steps to ensure that her parents are comfortable in their twilight years. “I’ve … Read more

News
0

Vietnam and Russia Dodge Sanctions Using Oil Profits to Repay Russian Arms

Posted byNguyen Ayi

This article is not satire

OIL STAINED LAUNDROMAT

Vietnam and Russia Dodge Sanctions Using Oil Profits to Repay Russian Arms

As reported by APNEWS, Russia and Vietnam are letting oil and gas profits play musical chairs across Siberia and Saigon until military hardware is paid for with as little paper trail as possible.

Under the arrangement: Vietnam buys jets, tanks and ships from Russia on credit. Then, they funnel profits from their joint Siberian oil venture to Moscow to settle the tab. Any leftover profits perform a graceful national identity swap — routed to a Russian state oil firm, which then funnels the same amount back into Vietnam through a local joint venture.

Officials who leaked the memos say the system was finalized while diplomats sipped tea ahead of a presidential visit, because nothing says “strategic partnership” like synchronised ledgers. Petrovietnam’s memo cheerfully notes the scheme keeps everything “within the territory of Vietnam and Russia,” which translates to: “No SWIFT? No problem.”

Washington, issues the usual cautionary finger wag about sanctions staying in place while diplomats ask themselves whether to be annoyed or professionally impressed. Think-tankers called it “next-level stuff,” which is analyst-speak for “clever and mildly terrifying.”

Vietnam, anxious about its giant neighbor China but increasingly chummy with the U.S., still depends on Russian hardware and spare parts. Russia, meanwhile, prefers getting paid in barrels and back-channel somersaults rather than polite bank transfers. Together, they’ve produced a system designed to keep sailors afloat, pilots flying, and accountants very busy.

Vietnam is simply hedging: cozy with Moscow where it counts for defense, friendly with Washington where it counts for trade.

News
0

ICE Training Request in Quy Nhon Looks Like a Taxpayer-Funded Retreat

Posted byNguyen Ayi

This article is not satire

According to the U.S. Consulate General in Ho Chi Minh City’s solicitation PR15454706 and related documents obtained by The Beat, the consulate is seeking meeting packages and accommodations in Quy Nhon for an ICE training workshop scheduled for September 14–20, 2025. The procurement packet’s specifications and room counts read less like a focused law-enforcement training and more like a government-funded retreat.

The combination of 45 meeting attendees and 30 paid rooms — along with a multiday seaside venue in Quy Nhon, daily buffets and tea breaks, backdrop branding, and storage for “training materials” — raises immediate questions about who will occupy the paid rooms. The solicitation’s math suggests accommodation for roughly 35 ICE agents plus 15 accompanying family members or friends, a configuration that describes a thinly veiled vacation package financed by taxpayers.

Housing and hospitality requirements that extend beyond core training needs, plus paid accommodations, risk appearing indulgent at best and an improper use of public funds at worst.

The solicitation comes against a backdrop of intensified immigration enforcement affecting Vietnamese nationals during the cruel policies of the Trump administration. Over 8,000 Vietnamese face potential deportation. For families and communities affected by deportation, the image of ICE personnel attending a well-serviced seaside workshop in Vietnam — potentially accompanied by non-official guests — can feel deeply insensitive, if not outright offensive.

Taxpayer-funded training overseas that involves immigration enforcement carries particular sensitivity when it intersects with communities directly affected by deportation policies. Transparency about participants, costs, and the mission focus of such trips is essential to maintain public trust and to ensure government resources are used for legitimate operational needs rather than extended hospitality. A FOIA request has been filed with the State Department seeking further details about participant lists, room allocations, and the

… Read more
EnvironmentExpat VoicesOpinion
0

I Am Tired Of Your Shit

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Opinion By Wally Tuan

It’s time for the media to shift its focus from sensationalizing irresponsible dog owners to advocating for real change. We need to pick up strays, provide designated areas for pets, and enforce general littering laws. Let’s create a community where dog owners are educated, businesses are held accountable, and our sidewalks are free from “poop bombs.” Leash laws and muzzle laws are useless in regards to this problem, may be considered in child playground areas, but have nothing to do with the rear-end residue and butt nuggets being left behind.

Let’s not forget the businesses that use dogs as free labor for security, only to let them roam the streets like stray “poop machines.” These poor pups are left to wander, leaving behind a trail of “stinky Lincoln Logs” for unsuspecting pedestrians. It’s high time we fine these businesses for their negligence and hold them accountable for the canine chaos they contribute to.

In a world where cities like Taipei have mastered the art of canine coexistence, complete with doggy bag stations and clean parks, it seems the Vietnamese media has taken a different route—one that leads straight to the land of missed opportunities and doggy doo-doo. While the streets of Ho Chi Minh City are often littered with the turd remnants of irresponsible dog owners, the media continues to wag its tail in the wrong direction, barking up the wrong tree. They are stopping the wheels of progress like a crosswalk does in virtually every other city in the world.

In Taipei, dogs frolic freely in parks, and their owners dutifully scoop up their furry friends’ “business.” Here, the sidewalks are a veritable minefield of “tootsie rolls” left by untrained pups, while their owners sit idly on their motorbikes, scrolling through their phones as their … Read more

CrimeNewsReal Estate Crash
0

Why Poor People Like Reading About Rich Assholes

Posted byNguyen Ayi

The Media Partnered with Robber Barons Are Digging Vietnamese Youth a Hole They Won’t Get Out Of.

By Nguyen Ayi

Despite being exploited as laborers by major corporations like Apple, Amazon, Grab, and Lazada, many individuals from lower socioeconomic backgrounds find themselves drawn to the lives of the wealthy elite.

Recent studies reveal a staggering disparity between CEO compensation and the wages of average workers. For instance, in 2024, the average CEO at the S&P 500’s lowest-paying firms earned $17.2 million, while the median worker’s salary was only $35,570. This results in a CEO-to-worker pay ratio of 632:1, a significant increase from 560:1 just five years prior. Notably, Starbucks’ CEO compensation reached an astonishing 6,666 times that of the median employee, highlighting the extreme nature of this inequality.

Statistic 2024 Value
Average CEO Pay $17.2 million
Median Worker Pay $35,570
CEO-to-Worker Pay Ratio 632:1
Starbucks CEO Pay Ratio 6,666:1

This growing gap is a global trend where executive pay has skyrocketed while worker wages stagnate or decline. Between 2019 and 2024, CEO pay increased by 34.7%, while median worker pay rose only 16.3%, failing to keep pace with inflation, which was 22.6% during the same period.

The Debt Burden on Gen Z in Vietnam

In Vietnam, Generation Z is increasingly facing a significant debt burden, primarily due to the rising popularity of credit cards and personal loans. As of 2025, it is estimated that around 30% of Vietnamese Gen Z individuals have taken on credit card debt, with the average outstanding balance reaching approximately 6 million VND (around $250). Additionally, many are turning to personal loans, with the total consumer debt in Vietnam projected to exceed 1.5 trillion VND (approximately $63 billion) by the end of the year. This … Read more

CrimeOpinionSatire
0

Ho Chi Minh City’s Graffiti Artists Should Have Fingers Removed

Posted byNguyen Ayi

A war should be waged—not against crime, but against the unsightly scourge of bad graffiti artists. While the city is home to some truly talented street artists who elevate the urban landscape with their vibrant murals, a growing number of so-called “artists” are defacing public property with their lackluster scribbles and juvenile doodles. It’s time to take a stand against this artistic travesty.

The influx of mediocre graffiti artists has led to a plague of poorly executed tags and mind-numbing scribbles that do nothing but tarnish the city’s image. These “artists” seem to believe that spray paint is a magic wand that can turn any surface into a masterpiece. Your “Question Everything” stupid lettering isn’t art or some deep philosophical point; it is a dumb, cynical worldview in a world where facts matter. Read a book, asshole.

It’s time to propose finger removal as a fitting punishment for these offenders. One by one, the fingers of these misguided artists should be severed, a symbolic gesture to remind them that their lack of skill has consequences. Including finger removal, regardless of age, the vandal will be put through the following sessions during a mandatory thirty-year prison sentence:

– The Paintball Gauntlet: After losing a finger, the artist must run through a gauntlet of paintball guns, where they will be pelted with colorful projectiles. Giant bruises will serve as a reminder of their artistic failures but also provide a splash of color to the otherwise drab punishment. The so-called artist will be tied to a wood plank so skilled sharpshooters can aim directly at their genitalia.

– The Mural of Shame: Each artist must create a mural depicting their own incompetence, using only the remaining fingers on their non-dominant hand. This will serve as a public display of their artistic shortcomings, ensuring … Read more

CrimeNews
0

KickBack City: Trump Golf Resort Displaces Farmers

Posted byNguyen Ayi

It is a shame this article isn’t satire

HUNG YEN, Vietnam– The Trump Organization has decided to expand its empire into Vietnam, offering local farmers a choice between a fistful of dollars and a generous helping of rice in exchange for their land. Finally, Trump is going after poor people!

The project, which is set to transform a lush farming area into a luxury golf resort, has been fast-tracked by Vietnamese authorities as they negotiate a crucial trade deal with Washington. Reminds me of that time I ran over a Vietnamese grandma with my motorbike and kept going.

Nguyen Thi Huong, a local farmer, was recently informed that she must vacate her farm for the Trump family-backed golf resort. The compensation? A mere $3,200 and some rice provisions. “Shit, I was pissed when that was my pay per month at my last International School job,” a foreigner lamented.

The golf course, which will cover a staggering 990 hectares. “The whole village is worried about this project because it will take our land and leave us jobless,” Huong said. But don’t worry, sweetheart, Trump will hire you as contractors to clear your own land, then not pay you like everyone of his other developments.

KickBack City

The local real estate company, Kinhbac City, has been dubbed “KickBack City” by locals who are not shy about expressing their skepticism. Talk about government officials rubbing the white “com” in their wrinkled grandmas’ faces. The Trump Organization will receive a $5 million fee for brand licensing rights, while the local government will handle the compensation payouts.

“Trump’s family business will run the club once completed,” a local official stated. Oh, take profits once the government finishes building it with poor people’s taxes! It is time to send Barron to a Cambodian Casino for the … Read more

FinanceNewsSatire
0

Ministry of Finance Announces Recession Based on New Indicator (UAAI)

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Uncles and Aunties in Trite Arguments

By Nguyen Ayi

Ho Chi Minh City- The Ministry of Finance has decided to adopt neighborhood disputes over potted plants, trash can placements, and parking spots as official economic indicators to track the health of the economy. Ho Chi Minh City has officially entered a recession according to a new economic indicator: uncles and aunties in trite arguments (UAAI). The economic downturn has manifested itself in uncles brawling over parking spots and trash can placement, and aunties squabbling over the optimal placement of a potted plant.

Last Saturday at Tan Dinh market, two uncles, armed with nothing but their pride and a few choice expletives, engaged in a heated battle over a coveted parking space. Witnesses reported that the argument escalated quickly, with both parties resorting to slapping matches reminiscent of a cheerleading squad fighting over pompoms. “I’ve been circling this lot for 20 minutes!” shouted Uncle Nguyen, while Uncle Tran retorted, “You think you own this street? I’ve parked here since before you were born!”

As the altercation drew a crowd, it became clear that this was not just a simple disagreement over a parking spot; it was a microcosm of the city’s economic woes. The streets of Ho Chi Minh are now filled with new empty high-end coffee shops and Western-style bistros on bad credit, all of which will be out of business in six months.

In a nearby neighborhood, a group of aunties found themselves embroiled in a fierce debate over the placement of a potted plant on the corner of a communal garden. “It needs more sunlight!” insisted Auntie Mai, while Auntie Lin countered, “No, it needs to be closer to the bench for aesthetic purposes!” The argument quickly escalated, with coconut cleavers twirling through the polluted air.

This trivial … Read more