Nguyen Ayi

One experienced English teacher has revealed his secret desire to escape the confines of the classroom and instead seek out job listings that include an abundance of administrative nonsense and dubious perks. Mr. Grumbleton, a seasoned educator who wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons. According to him, the last thing he wants to do is be in the classroom teaching, and he actively looks for a place that offers mind-numbing bureaucracy and lackluster professional growth opportunities.

“I’m tired of inspiring young minds and making a difference. What I really crave is an environment that’s filled with as much administrative bullshit as possible,” Mr. Grumbleton confessed with a forlorn expression. “Why settle for engaging lessons and enthusiastic students when I can have endless paperwork and tedious meetings? It’s the dream.”

For Mr. Grumbleton, the ideal job listing includes phrases such as “professional development,” “workshops,” and “training.” These triggers send waves of excitement throughout his body as he envisions countless hours spent in mind-numbing workshops that contribute very little to his actual teaching abilities. “I love it when they dangle the promise of growth and learning, only to provide me with PowerPoint presentations that would make anyone question their career choices,” he chuckled.

To add to the allure, Mr. Grumbleton finds it particularly appealing if the job requires him to build demo lessons from scratch. “Because let’s be honest, what I’d really like to do instead of teaching is spend countless nights brainstorming and meticulously crafting perfect lessons, ensuring that my creativity is exhausted even before I step into the classroom,” he explained with a hint of sarcasm.

Another teacher, who we will refer to as Mrs. Gung-Ho, shares Mr. Grumbleton’s unconventional cravings. “Oh, I absolutely love it when there are excessive classroom observations,” she chimed in. “Nothing gets my adrenaline … Read more

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam – An expat living in Ho Chi Minh City has managed to amaze onlookers by bumming a cigarette off a low-salaried Vietnamese worker. The expat, known only as Patrick, not only shamelessly took the worker’s last cigarette but then had the nerve to ask for his lighter as well.

As fate would have it, Patrick happened to stroll into a local watering hole blissfully unaware that his actions were about to unravel an astonishing display of ignorance and cultural arrogance. While blissfully drinking away on his drink, he decided to enlighten the server about a dubious piece of ‘culture.’

The underpaid Vietnamese worker, toiling away for less than a dollar an hour, stood there wide-eyed, silently weighing the pros and cons of handing over his last precious puff of relaxation. Caught in a moral dilemma, the server reluctantly relinquished his last cigarette, hoping against hope that good karma would eventually come his way. “Is this guy for real? Bumming a cigarette is bad enough, but then demanding the last one? It’s like he’s making sport out of someone’s struggle.”

Clearly, Patrick didn’t grasp the irony of his actions, nor did he comprehend the vast discrepancy between the lifestyles of expats like himself and the hardworking Vietnamese locals. While he comfortably spent his money on discounted drinks during happy hour, the server was spending his seventh consecutive day earning mere pennies.

Patrick’s unwitting ignorance and misplaced confidence were not only an affront to Vietnamese culture but a slap in the face to all workers who tirelessly strive for a better life. Perhaps little does he know, karma might just have the last laugh.

As the sun set over Ho Chi Minh City, Patrick contentedly puffed on his ill-gotten cigarette, blissfully unaware of the cultural lesson he … Read more

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam – In an arrogant display of self-centeredness, Jake Whinington, a self-proclaimed connoisseur of first-world problems and expat extraordinaire, has taken it upon himself to alert the world to his monumental inconveniences faced in the bustling metropolis. Whinington, who has been living in the city for a mere three months, claims his banal struggles are worthy of immediate attention from the masses.

Unsurprisingly, the devil is in the details when it comes to Whinington’s daily endeavors. His tale of woes, which includes exhausting venting sessions with fellow expats at local overpriced coffee shops, encompasses the trivial spectrum from hot weather and spicy street food to minor language barriers and inconvenient traffic jams. He believes that it is now the sacred duty of the local Vietnamese population to bend over backward to cater to his every whim and caterwaul.

“Living in Vietnam is such a nightmare,” exclaims Whinington. “I mean, can you even imagine walking down the street and not perspiring like a normal person? It’s an outrage! And don’t even get me started on the local cuisine! How dare they serve food with all this salt and sugar?”

Witnesses report that Whinington, who has a permanent scowl etched on his face, storms through crowded markets, bemoaning the locals’ inability to master the English language. In a desperate bid for attention, he even demands that street vendors provide bilingual menus and lectures innocent passersby on the virtues of the Queen’s English.

“I find it immensely frustrating that these people don’t understand me,” Whinington grumbles. “I mean, how hard is it to learn English in your spare time?”

While Whinington revels in his self-appointed role of exalted complainant, it is the traffic situation that truly sends him into a tailspin. Unfathomably, he seems unable to comprehend that a … Read more

Vietnamese Want English Refund

Vietnamese people across the country have come to the astonishing realization that they no longer need to learn English. After decades of prioritizing English language education as a means of staying competitive on the global stage, the nation has collectively decided to abandon this futile pursuit. The mesmerizing sound of English language learning centers closing their doors can be heard echoing through the streets.

Nguyen Thuy exclaimed, “I spent years trying to learn this language, investing my hard-earned money, and sacrificing countless hours memorizing vocabulary. But all I have to show for it is a slightly better ability to order a Big Mac at McDonald’s!”

It seems that English language education has become the Black Friday of educational investments. As the Vietnamese people fill the streets, desperately searching for a refund, others are lining up to seize this golden opportunity to replace English with more practical skills. Perhaps Vietnamese language centers will soon stock their shelves with “Charm Your Way Through Life” classes or “How to Influence Your Boss Using Comedic Facial Expressions” workshops.

In a country once obsessed with English proficiency, locals have now discovered the liberation that comes with abandoning this unnecessary endeavor. They have realized that focusing on their native language is far more valuable than being able to communicate with the rest of the world.

Vietnamese musicians have taken to rhyming exclusively in Vietnamese, which has struck a chord with the nation’s youth. Gone are the days when catchy English choruses dominated the music scene, as even the trending international tunes are now translated into Vietnamese to cater to the local audience. International pop stars have even begun demanding their songs be sung exclusively in Vietnamese, recognizing the growing wave of Vietnamese pride.

Tourism has also flourished thanks to this newfound … Read more