Nguyen Ayi

Expat VoicesSatire
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Cafe Owner Targets Fan At Douchebag Backpacker, Leaves Locals Stunned

Posted byNguyen Ayi

By Phil McCracken And Nguyen Ayi

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam – A cafe owner of in Vietnam took matters into his own breeze-inducing hands, delivering a refreshing blow to a self-proclaimed “douchebag” backpacker. As the fan’s gusts swerved away from the loyal regulars and landed squarely on the unsuspecting traveler, the collective reaction of the café-goers can only be described as sheer bewilderment.

The scene unfolded at a humble café nestled in the heart of this vibrant city. Regular customers, sipping their steaming cups of Vietnamese coffee, were taken aback as the café’s manager made a daring move. With a twinkle in his eye and a sly smile, he skillfully re-positioned the cooling fan, redirecting its airflow towards an individual who could easily be mistaken for the poster child of obnoxiousness.

Enter our protagonist, a backpacker who proudly boasted about his “worldly exploits” and embarked on a quest to discover “authenticity” while wearing an assortment of cultural trinkets. Clad in a tribal-patterned sarong, a fedora that screamed “cultural appropriation,” and an assortment of questionable tattoos, he sat at the café, regaling anyone within earshot with tales of his adventurous exploits.

Unbeknownst to the backpacker, fate had decided to intervene. As the manager’s hand gracefully guided the fan’s rotation, a gust of cooling air was unleashed upon the unsuspecting traveler. The fan’s strategic maneuver left the locals in stitches, marveling at the sheer brilliance of the universe’s sense of justice.

The backpacker, initially oblivious to the shift in atmospheric currents, reveled in the newfound attention, believing it to be a reflection of his undeniable magnetism. Little did he know that he had become the unwitting recipient of a cosmic prank, courtesy of a rebellious cooling device.

Meanwhile, the café’s regulars exchanged puzzled glances, their eyes mirroring a collective question mark. … Read more

Satire
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Man Smiling At Phone Is Faking It

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Man Was Pretending to be Happy On His Phone

By Joe Fotalattee

In today’s world, it’s not uncommon to see people glued to their phones even in public places. But have you ever noticed someone pretending to be happy and laughing at a conversation that doesn’t even exist?

Meet Minh. Minh is a prime example of someone who has mastered the art of pretending to be happy on his phone. He sits at the coffee shop, scrolling mindlessly through his social media feed, but he doesn’t want the other person sitting next to him to know how lonely he is. So he puts on a fake smile and starts laughing as if he’s having the time of his life.

The other person, let’s call her Linh, is also on her phone. She’s scrolling through her emails, but she can’t help but notice Minh’s fake laughter. She wonders what could be so funny that Minh is laughing out loud.

Minh sees Linh looking at him and immediately feels embarrassed. He quickly puts his phone aside and starts pretending to read a book. Linh goes back to her emails, but she can’t help but feel sorry for herself, thinking, “What a sorry sack we both are”.

In reality, both Minh and Linh are just trying to escape the loneliness that comes with being alone in a public place. They both feel disconnected from the world around them and the people in it. They don’t want to seem like losers, so they put on a facade of happiness.

But what if they could just be real? What if they could put down their phones and strike up a conversation with each other? They might find that they have a lot in common, and that they share similar interests and experiences. They might even … Read more

Satire
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Foreigner Dismayed to Receive Name of Network as Wifi Password

Posted byNguyen Ayi

Tourist Finds New Thing To Complain About

by Ngyen Ayi

A tourist visiting a local cafe was left in shock and disbelief when he asked the barista for the wifi password and was given the name of the network in the cafe as the answer.

The foreigner, who wished to remain anonymous, had been enjoying a cup of coffee and browsing on his smartphone when he decided to connect to the cafe’s wifi network. He approached the barista and politely asked for the password, only to be told that it was the name of the cafe itself.

“I couldn’t believe it,” the tourist said. “I mean, I could clearly see the name of the wifi network on my phone, and it was the same as the name of the cafe. Why would I want the name of the network? It’s like they’re not even trying.”

When the password turned out to be eight number eights, the tourist went on to express his disappointment with the cafe’s lack of creativity and originality, stating that he had expected more from a “culturally diverse and cosmopolitan city” like Ho Chi Minh City.

“Eventually, I thought I was going to get some sort of clever and witty password, like ‘espresso4life’ or ‘latteartislife’, but instead I got one I could have guessed without asking.”

The cafe’s management declined to comment on the situation, but sources close to the barista in question claim that he was simply following protocol and that the cafe’s wifi password had always been on the receipt anyway.

The incident has sparked a heated debate on social media, with many users expressing their own disappointment with the lack of creativity in wifi passwords at cafes and other public spaces. Some have even gone so far as to create their own wifi networks … Read more

EnvironmentSatire
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Climate Activist Gives Up on Single-Use Plastics, Embraces Toddler Lifestyle

Posted byNguyen Ayi

By Nguyen Ayi

In a shocking turn of events, renowned climate activist, Whiney Sachs, has given up on his mission to avoid single-use plastics. Sachs, who has been an outspoken advocate for environmental conservation, has recently admitted defeat, citing the ubiquity of single-use plastics in every transaction and the emotional exhaustion that comes with trying to avoid them.

“I’ve been trying to do my part, but it’s just impossible,” said Sachs in a recent interview. “Everywhere I turn, there’s plastic cups, straws, and bags. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.”

Sachs went on to explain that he had come to the realization that no one individual can make a difference, and that it’s up to governments to take action by banning single-use plastics. Until then, Sachs has decided to embrace a toddler lifestyle by using a plastic cup and straw with every drink.

“I’ve decided to stop stressing about it and just enjoy life,” said Sachs, sipping from his plastic sippy cup. “If the world is going to drown in plastic, I might as well go down with a smile on my face.”

The news of Sachs’ surrender has been met with mixed reactions from the environmental community, with some praising his honesty and others criticizing his defeatist attitude.

“He’s given up too easily,” said fellow activist, Sally Sanctimonious. “We need to keep fighting and pushing for change. Giving in is not an option.”

Despite the criticism, Sachs seems content with his decision and plans to continue living his life with a newfound sense of freedom and ease.

“I’m not saying we should all give up on the environment,” said Sachs. “But sometimes, it’s okay to take a step back and enjoy the little things in life. Like a plastic sippy cup.”

Expat VoicesSatire
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Local Expat Discovers A Feeling of Joy

Posted byNguyen Ayi

By Ngyuen Ayi

In a shocking turn of events, an expat living in Vietnam has discovered that going to the gym brings more joy and fulfillment than going to the local bar to complain about everything he hates about the country.

According to sources close to the expat, who wishes to remain anonymous, he had been a regular at the local watering hole for months, bemoaning everything from the traffic to the food to the weather.

But one day, after a particularly frustrating rant about the lack of air conditioning in his apartment, a fellow expat suggested he try going to the gym instead of drowning his sorrows in beer.

At first, the expat was skeptical. After all, how could lifting weights and running on a treadmill compare to the joy of complaining about everything that’s wrong with Vietnam?

But after just a few weeks of hitting the gym regularly, the expat was hooked. He found that the endorphin rush from a good workout was far more satisfying than the temporary relief he got from complaining about his problems.

Not only that, but he also found that going to the gym gave him a sense of purpose and accomplishment that he had been missing in his life. Instead of wallowing in negativity, he was actively working towards bettering himself and his health.

The expat’s friends were shocked by the transformation they saw in him. No longer was he the grumpy, cynical guy who complained about everything. Instead, he was upbeat, positive, and full of energy.

In fact, the expat himself admitted that he couldn’t believe he had wasted so much time and energy on complaining when he could have been working on improving himself and his life.

So, to all the expats out there who find themselves drowning their sorrows … Read more

Opinion
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Plastic Pollution Is Next Generation’s Problem

Posted byNguyen Ayi

By Nguyen Ayi

Vietnam, the land of the rising sun and an ocean of plastic! The current generation is well aware of the plastic problem that’s been choking the country, but they’re in no mood to make any sacrifices. They’d rather sip their bubble tea through a plastic straw and toss it aside, adding to the already overflowing piles of plastic waste. The next generation can worry about it, right?

Who needs responsibility when you can just blame it on the young? They’ll take care of it all, with their fancy eco-friendly products and sustainable practices. But let’s not forget the current generation’s contributions to the plastic apocalypse. From using single-use plastics to hoarding unnecessary items, their actions have led to the current state of affairs.

What’s worse is that the current generation seems to be completely oblivious to the impact their actions have on the environment. They’re too busy snapping selfies and scrolling through Instagram, living in a bubble of their own creation. They believe that the environment will fix itself and that they won’t be around to see the consequences of their actions.

But little do they know that they’ll be the ones drowning in plastic, not the fish. The plastic waste will persist long after they’re gone, affecting the quality of life for generations to come. It’s time for the current generation to take responsibility for their actions and work towards a sustainable future.

So, what can the next generation do to fix this mess? They can start by saying “no” to plastic and pushing for more environmentally-friendly policies and practices. They can raise awareness about the impact of plastic pollution on the environment and work towards creating a cleaner, greener Vietnam.

In conclusion, the plastic problem in Vietnam is a shared responsibility that requires collective action. … Read more

Satire
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My Middle Class Road Trip to Vung Tau Beach

Posted byNguyen Ayi

By Nguyen Ayi

It was a beautiful day in Ho Chi Minh City, and my family had decided to take a road trip to Vung Tau Beach. Like many middle-class families, we were excited to take a break from our daily routine and capture some Instagram-worthy pictures.

As we drove through the winding roads, we sipped on our Highland’s Coffee plastic cups and enjoyed the scenic views. However, as soon as we arrived at the beach, it was clear that our priorities were not aligned with nature.

My wife and kids quickly took out their phones and started taking selfies, making sure to capture the perfect angle and lighting. As they posed, they didn’t seem to notice the plastic cups they had brought with them, which they carelessly left on the beach.

After taking our photos, we got back in their car and drove home. We didn’t seem to notice the garbage we had left behind, or the harm we had caused to the environment. We didn’t swim or enjoy the beach because of all the trash, and we were mainly there to get a good photo for our Facebook profiles.

This scene is unfortunately all too common in Vietnam, where the desire for social media validation often comes at the expense of the environment. While middle-class families may have the means to travel and enjoy their leisure time, it’s important to remember that we all share this planet and must take care of it for future generations.

So next time you plan a road trip, remember to pack a reusable water bottle and a trash bag, and leave the beauty of nature just as you found it. Your Instagram followers may not be impressed, but the planet will thank you.

Expat VoicesSatire
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Washed Up Expat Journalist Finds New Passion Writing About Vietnam’s Plastic Problem

Posted byNguyen Ayi

By Joe Fotalatee

Meet Leslie, a washed-up expat journalist who once covered the daily mass shooting problem in America. But since moving to Vietnam, Leslie has found a new passion – writing about the country’s plastic pollution problem.

“I mean, sure, America has a mass shooting problem, but have you seen the amount of plastic in Vietnam?” Leslie exclaimed in a recent interview. “It’s everywhere! And someone has to bring attention to it.”

While some may argue that there are more pressing issues in Vietnam, such as poverty and corruption, she remains steadfast in her mission to bring awareness to the plastic problem.

“Sure, poverty and corruption are important issues, but have you seen the turtles? They’re eating plastic! We need to do something about it,” Leslie said, with a look of determination in her eye.

Despite the fact that her articles receive little attention and have had no impact on the plastic problem in Vietnam, she remains optimistic.

“I may not be making a difference now, but I know that someday people will look back on my articles and say, ‘Wow, Leslie really cared about the environment,'” she said.

In the meantime, Leslie continues to write about the plastic problem, day in and day out, ignoring the other issues plaguing the country she now calls home but can’t get a visa in.

“I mean, it’s not like there are mass shootings here, right?” Leslie said with a laugh. “But seriously, have you seen the plastic bags in the trees?”

Satire
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Pizza Delivery: From Boxes to Plastic Bags

Posted byNguyen Ayi

By Nguyen Ayi

In the old days, pizza delivery meant reusable hot bags and the smell of melted cheese wafting through the air. But now, in Vietnam, thanks to the plastic industry’s stranglehold on politicians, every item is delivered with a side of plastic.

Gone are the days of environmentally friendly deliveries. Now, every pizza box is wrapped in plastic, which is then wrapped in another plastic bag, just for good measure. And it’s not just pizza – every takeaway item is now covered in a cocoon of plastic, all in the name of “convenience.”

Despite the mounting evidence against plastic, businesses continue to demand it. Why? Because the plastic industry owns all the politicians in Asia, and they’re not about to let their profits take a hit.

In a bold move, a popular pizza chain in Vung Tau, Pizza Papprazi, has decided to stop pretending that they care about the environment. Their new plastic bag branding reads, “Taste Matters, Planet Doesn’t,” leaving no room for misinterpretation.

“Let’s face it, folks. The world is going to end in a few years anyway, so why bother with all this eco-friendly nonsense?” said the CEO of the Vung Tau pizza chain in a press conference. “Our customers come to us for the taste, not the sustainability. And let’s be real, what’s the point of saving the planet when we won’t be around to enjoy it?”

The new branding has caused outrage among environmentalists, who have already been struggling to combat plastic pollution. “This is a slap in the face to all the hard work we’ve been doing to save the planet,” said one activist. “It’s a complete disregard for the future of our planet and the generations to come.”

Despite the backlash, the pizza chain is standing by their decision and even … Read more