Nguyen Ayi

By Ngyuen Ayi

A dedicated expatriate has devised a groundbreaking strategy to keep the community in Saigon exceptionally clean – by feeding stray dogs rat poison treats.

Saigon, a city known for its bustling streets and vibrant culture, has long been plagued by the menace of stray dogs. These canines, notorious for causing traffic accidents and leaving their business cards (excrement) in front of countless local establishments, have become a daily nuisance for the residents. But thanks to the audacious efforts of one expat, Dick Kibble, whose creativity and sheer disregard for animal welfare, those days might be over.

The strategy is admirably straightforward – the expat replicates a gourmet treat formula laced with rat poison that only stray dogs find irresistible. Amazingly, the treats appear to work like magic, leading to a significant reduction in the once prevalent canine chaos. Locals are now enjoying peaceful walks down the street, free from the fear of being chased, bitten, or running into any more piles of furry trouble.

This ingenious plan, however, does come with its share of risks. After all, the expat must remain cautious, ensuring that he doesn’t mistakenly confuse the rat poison treats with the ones meant for his own beloved dog creating quite the fur-raising mix-up! “I considered doing late night walks and stabbing them in the throat, but the doggie treats seem to be easiest option,” Kibble explained.

As we ponder the consequences of Kibble’s courageous crusade, we can’t help but envision a future where every resident takes it upon themselves to keep their community clean, not by resorting to rat poison, but through education, responsible pet ownership, and overall civic awareness. In the meantime, we can only hope that the expat continues managing his rat poison offerings with the utmost precision, avoiding any unintended consequences … Read more

A local business in Ho Chi Minh City has created an altar dedicated to Buddha in the middle of their boutique. The awkwardly positioned statue, located near the front door, is causing more confusion than actual devotion.

While most businesses focus on creating a welcoming environment for customers and hiring attentive staff, this business seems to think that praying to a statue is the key to success. According to sources, the owner believes that the more they pray to Buddha, the more customers will flock to their store.

But this questionable strategy isn’t the only issue. Customers have complained about the lack of attention from staff, who seem more interested in scrolling through social media on their phones than assisting customers with their purchases.

When confronted about these concerns, the owner of the store stated that praying to Buddha is more effective than actually paying attention to customers. “Buddha is like Santa Claus,” the owner explained, “you ask for something and he delivers it to you. If we just focus on pleasing customers, we might risk losing our spiritual edge.”

While some customers might be drawn in by the exotic aesthetics of the boutique, it seems that overall, the altar to Buddha is seen as a confusing and inadequate substitute for genuine customer service. Customers expect a business to meet their needs, not to pray for them.

In addition to their reliance on prayer, the business also seems to lack basic business skills such as marketing and inventory management. “Those things are just too complicated,” the owner admitted. “Prayer is much easier. And besides, this is family money anyway. We can always get a loan we won’t pay back if the Buddha statue or our dead relatives don’t come through for us.”

It’s clear that the business is taking a … Read more

Saigon’s English teaching shortage has been a concern for years, but good news has finally arrived. Thanks to increased documentation and educational requirements, this shortage is no more! That’s right, all you need to do is make the process so complicated that seasoned educators with years of experience in the field move to other countries.

It turns out that having a degree in English and a teaching certification just doesn’t cut it anymore. In order to teach the language, you must have a degree in education. This has caused many longtime educators to throw in the towel and leave the country, paving the way for fresh-faced, inexperienced teachers who can meet these new requirements.

All of these new regulations have made Saigon’s English teaching system just like other Asian countries, except without the decent full-time salary or benefits. China, Korea, Japan, and countless other countries offer full-time pay, benefits, flights and housing. Middle-aged English teachers in Vietnam who have been in the game for years are left with no benefits and no future retirement plans, unlike underpaid HR rejecting talent or teaching assistants who complain about their pay now, but will surely be raking in the dough once they hit middle age.

It seems that the English teaching industry in Saigon is mimicking the Mexican fruit pickers in America. Sure, Mexicans get free housing, but middle-aged English teachers are left with nothing but a stack of papers and a degree that is no longer relevant. The good news is, if you’re a fresh-faced, inexperienced teacher looking for work, Saigon is the place to be! Just make sure you have the right paperwork, and you’ll be on your way to a short and fruitful career.