Nguyen Ayi – Page 10 – The Vietnam Beat

Local Expat Discovers A Feeling of Joy

Nguyen AyiMay 22, 2023

By Ngyuen Ayi

In a shocking turn of events, an expat living in Vietnam has discovered that going to the gym brings more joy and fulfillment than going to the local bar to complain about everything he hates about the country.

According to sources close to the expat, who wishes to remain anonymous, he had been a regular at the local watering hole for months, bemoaning everything from the traffic to the food to the weather.

But one day, after a particularly frustrating rant about the lack of air conditioning in his apartment, a fellow expat suggested he try going to the gym instead of drowning his sorrows in beer.

At first, the expat was skeptical. After all, how could lifting weights and running on a treadmill compare to the joy of complaining about everything that’s wrong with Vietnam?

But after just a few weeks of hitting the gym regularly, the expat was hooked. He found that the endorphin rush from a good workout was far more satisfying than the temporary relief he got from complaining about his problems.

Not only that, but he also found that going to the gym gave him a sense of purpose and accomplishment that he had been missing in his life. Instead of wallowing in negativity, he was actively working towards bettering himself and his health.

The expat’s friends were shocked by the transformation they saw in him. No longer was he the grumpy, cynical guy who complained about everything. Instead, he was upbeat, positive, and full of energy.

In fact, the expat himself admitted that he couldn’t believe he had wasted so much time and energy on complaining when he could have been working on improving himself and his life.

So, to all the expats out there who find themselves drowning their sorrows … Read more

Opinion

Plastic Pollution Is Next Generation’s Problem

Nguyen AyiMay 21, 2023

By Nguyen Ayi

Vietnam, the land of the rising sun and an ocean of plastic! The current generation is well aware of the plastic problem that’s been choking the country, but they’re in no mood to make any sacrifices. They’d rather sip their bubble tea through a plastic straw and toss it aside, adding to the already overflowing piles of plastic waste. The next generation can worry about it, right?

Who needs responsibility when you can just blame it on the young? They’ll take care of it all, with their fancy eco-friendly products and sustainable practices. But let’s not forget the current generation’s contributions to the plastic apocalypse. From using single-use plastics to hoarding unnecessary items, their actions have led to the current state of affairs.

What’s worse is that the current generation seems to be completely oblivious to the impact their actions have on the environment. They’re too busy snapping selfies and scrolling through Instagram, living in a bubble of their own creation. They believe that the environment will fix itself and that they won’t be around to see the consequences of their actions.

But little do they know that they’ll be the ones drowning in plastic, not the fish. The plastic waste will persist long after they’re gone, affecting the quality of life for generations to come. It’s time for the current generation to take responsibility for their actions and work towards a sustainable future.

So, what can the next generation do to fix this mess? They can start by saying “no” to plastic and pushing for more environmentally-friendly policies and practices. They can raise awareness about the impact of plastic pollution on the environment and work towards creating a cleaner, greener Vietnam.

In conclusion, the plastic problem in Vietnam is a shared responsibility that requires collective action. … Read more

Satire

My Middle Class Road Trip to Vung Tau Beach

Nguyen AyiMay 21, 2023

By Nguyen Ayi

It was a beautiful day in Ho Chi Minh City, and my family had decided to take a road trip to Vung Tau Beach. Like many middle-class families, we were excited to take a break from our daily routine and capture some Instagram-worthy pictures.

As we drove through the winding roads, we sipped on our Highland’s Coffee plastic cups and enjoyed the scenic views. However, as soon as we arrived at the beach, it was clear that our priorities were not aligned with nature.

My wife and kids quickly took out their phones and started taking selfies, making sure to capture the perfect angle and lighting. As they posed, they didn’t seem to notice the plastic cups they had brought with them, which they carelessly left on the beach.

After taking our photos, we got back in their car and drove home. We didn’t seem to notice the garbage we had left behind, or the harm we had caused to the environment. We didn’t swim or enjoy the beach because of all the trash, and we were mainly there to get a good photo for our Facebook profiles.

This scene is unfortunately all too common in Vietnam, where the desire for social media validation often comes at the expense of the environment. While middle-class families may have the means to travel and enjoy their leisure time, it’s important to remember that we all share this planet and must take care of it for future generations.

So next time you plan a road trip, remember to pack a reusable water bottle and a trash bag, and leave the beauty of nature just as you found it. Your Instagram followers may not be impressed, but the planet will thank you.

Expat Voices Satire

Washed Up Expat Journalist Finds New Passion Writing About Vietnam’s Plastic Problem

Nguyen AyiMay 20, 2023

By Joe Fotalatee

Meet Leslie, a washed-up expat journalist who once covered the daily mass shooting problem in America. But since moving to Vietnam, Leslie has found a new passion – writing about the country’s plastic pollution problem.

“I mean, sure, America has a mass shooting problem, but have you seen the amount of plastic in Vietnam?” Leslie exclaimed in a recent interview. “It’s everywhere! And someone has to bring attention to it.”

While some may argue that there are more pressing issues in Vietnam, such as poverty and corruption, she remains steadfast in her mission to bring awareness to the plastic problem.

“Sure, poverty and corruption are important issues, but have you seen the turtles? They’re eating plastic! We need to do something about it,” Leslie said, with a look of determination in her eye.

Despite the fact that her articles receive little attention and have had no impact on the plastic problem in Vietnam, she remains optimistic.

“I may not be making a difference now, but I know that someday people will look back on my articles and say, ‘Wow, Leslie really cared about the environment,'” she said.

In the meantime, Leslie continues to write about the plastic problem, day in and day out, ignoring the other issues plaguing the country she now calls home but can’t get a visa in.

“I mean, it’s not like there are mass shootings here, right?” Leslie said with a laugh. “But seriously, have you seen the plastic bags in the trees?”

Satire

Pizza Delivery: From Boxes to Plastic Bags

Nguyen AyiMay 20, 2023

By Nguyen Ayi

In the old days, pizza delivery meant reusable hot bags and the smell of melted cheese wafting through the air. But now, in Vietnam, thanks to the plastic industry’s stranglehold on politicians, every item is delivered with a side of plastic.

Gone are the days of environmentally friendly deliveries. Now, every pizza box is wrapped in plastic, which is then wrapped in another plastic bag, just for good measure. And it’s not just pizza – every takeaway item is now covered in a cocoon of plastic, all in the name of “convenience.”

Despite the mounting evidence against plastic, businesses continue to demand it. Why? Because the plastic industry owns all the politicians in Asia, and they’re not about to let their profits take a hit.

In a bold move, a popular pizza chain in Vung Tau, Pizza Papprazi, has decided to stop pretending that they care about the environment. Their new plastic bag branding reads, “Taste Matters, Planet Doesn’t,” leaving no room for misinterpretation.

“Let’s face it, folks. The world is going to end in a few years anyway, so why bother with all this eco-friendly nonsense?” said the CEO of the Vung Tau pizza chain in a press conference. “Our customers come to us for the taste, not the sustainability. And let’s be real, what’s the point of saving the planet when we won’t be around to enjoy it?”

The new branding has caused outrage among environmentalists, who have already been struggling to combat plastic pollution. “This is a slap in the face to all the hard work we’ve been doing to save the planet,” said one activist. “It’s a complete disregard for the future of our planet and the generations to come.”

Despite the backlash, the pizza chain is standing by their decision and even … Read more

Satire

Banh Mi Shop Proudly Modernizes by Using More Plastic

Nguyen AyiMay 20, 2023

By Ngyuen Ayi

In the bustling streets of Vietnam, one Banh Mi shop has made waves by modernizing their packaging. Instead of using a simple piece of paper, they have upgraded to a plastic sheath. And if that wasn’t enough, they even use an additional plastic bag compared to previous generations that didn’t use plastic at all.

“We’re very proud of our advancements in packaging technology,” said the shop’s owner. “We want to be at the forefront of modernization, and what better way than to use more plastic?”

Customers were initially hesitant about the excess plastic, but the shop’s owner explained that it was necessary for the “modernization” of their business. “We need to keep up with the times,” he said. “And if that means using more plastic, then so be it.”

The shop’s new packaging has received mixed reviews from customers, with some praising the convenience and others expressing concern for the environment. “I love the new plastic sheath,” said one customer. “It’s so much easier to eat on the go. And the extra plastic bag? I use it to carry my other snacks!”

However, environmental activists have criticized the shop’s decision to use more plastic. “This is a step backwards for sustainability,” said one activist. “We should be reducing our plastic usage, not increasing it.”

Despite the criticism, the Banh Mi shop remains proud of their “modernization” efforts. “We’re taking the Banh Mi game to the next level by adding as many plastics as possible,” said the owner. “Who knows what other advancements we’ll come up with next?”

As the Banh Mi shop continues to use more and more plastic, it remains to be seen whether their customers will continue to support their “modernization” efforts or if they’ll demand a more sustainable approach. Actually, it doesn’t remain to … Read more

Environment Satire

Vietnamese Youth Proudly Declare: “We’re Number 1!”

Nguyen AyiMay 20, 2023

By Nguyen Ayi

In a surprising turn of events, Vietnamese youth are celebrating their country’s recent ranking as the number one plastic waste contributor in the world. While many people might be concerned about the implications of such a dubious honor, Vietnamese youth are embracing it with open arms.

“We knew we were good at something,” said Hoang, a 22-year-old student from Hanoi. “It’s nice to finally be recognized for our hard work and dedication to polluting the environment.”

The youth of Vietnam have long been known for their competitive spirit, and now they have a new metric to track their success. While other countries may boast about their high literacy rates, low crime rates, or advanced healthcare systems, Vietnam’s youth are proud to lead the world in plastic waste.

“Sure, other countries may have better healthcare or education systems, but can they match us in terms of plastic waste?” asked Trang, a 19-year-old from Ho Chi Minh City. “I don’t think so.”

Some may argue that being the number one plastic waste contributor is nothing to be proud of, but Vietnamese youth see it as a sign of progress. After all, it takes a lot of effort to produce that much plastic waste. It’s a testament to the country’s ingenuity and work ethic.

“We’re not just throwing away plastic bottles and bags willy-nilly,” said Phuong, a 20-year-old from Da Nang. “We’re doing it with purpose and intention. It’s all about setting goals and achieving them.”

Despite the concerns of environmentalists and other countries, Vietnamese youth remain undeterred. They see plastic waste as a way to showcase their country’s strengths and to prove that they can compete with the best of them.

“We’re not just number one in plastic waste,” said Hoang. “We’re number one in spirit, too.”

As the … Read more