by Joe Fotalatee
Physiologically drained from not belonging to what you thought was home, you are once again nauseous being shuffled off a van 600 yards from the Cambodian border. The expensive guide, who has only provided transport, tells you to be at the same stand with overpriced coconuts around lunchtime.
The sun beats down on your red-faced, balding head as you sweat not from the heat, but not knowing if the customs officer at the gates of this barren border will ask for “coffee money”. A concrete wall is off in the distance, and you see a casino van driving towards the desolate horizon. You wonder if you would be better off being one of the casino workers stuffed inside.
An amateur, younger traveler has attached to you and he’s projecting all of his anxiety outward, and he looks as defeated as the Rooster losing the cock fight on the side of the road. You walk faster to create some distance. You don’t want to hear what kind of special person this vagabond was back home.
Feeling disabled, you climb the ramp versus taking the stairs up the prison-like entrance, wondering how you’ll be sodomized while an official in a blue suit wants to take your passport. You recognize the con man from the last dozen border runs, but don’t bother warning the others behind you because it is their turn to learn how humanity will cease to exist in your worst moments here at the border of hell and Moc Bai.
You block out the rest from the gangster lady with the scar on her neck, who cut you with a thousand passports, which made you remain next in line for about two hours. You try to forget the demand for a bribe and the passport being thrown back at you like a dog who begged for a chicken bone. It is all done now and in the past. You want away from a country’s visa policies that put you through this month after month when all you wanted to do is retire and spend your dismal savings. This realization has you selecting from the following options and official government visa sites:
Option 1. Taiwan: Visa Free 90 Days (No Fee)
$89 flight to Taichung or Taipei
90 days Visa Free: Renewable in-country, convertible to work visa in-country
(United States, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, and Europe.)
Option 2. Cambodia
$100 Flight to Phnom Penh
$35 Visa on arrival or evisa, in-country renewal.
or evisa: https://www.evisa.gov.kh/
(evisa provides the benefit of a stamp versus a whole page sticker in a passport)
Option 3. Indonesia
$120 flight to Bali
$35 Visa On Arrival, in-country renewal, nomad visa options
https://molina.imigrasi.go.id/
Option 4. Thailand: Visa Free 45 Days (no fee)
$60 flight to Bangkok, a developed metropolis
In-country renewal and conversion are available
Option 5. China Transit Visa:
The requirements of 144-hour visa-free policy:
-Passport holders from the 53 countries including USA, Canada, UK, Australia, France, Germany, Singapore, etc. -You must be in transit to a third country or region (Hong Kong, Macau, and Taiwan are included). -You must stay within the permitted region and not travel out of it. (10-year, multi-entry expected to restart in May)
$300 to Beijing, $220 to Guangzhou, $250 to Shanghai
https://cova.mfa.gov.cn/
Option 6. Laos
$35 Visa On Arrival
evisa $50: https://laoevisa.gov.la
Option 7. Philippines: Visa Free 30 Days (no fee)
$100 flight
Extend in-country up to three years
https://www.visa.gov.ph/
Option 8. Myanmar
Flight to Yangon $100 (With active shooter drills for kids in the USA, how unsafe are the major cities for tourists in this beautiful country?)
$50, 30days: https://evisa.moip.gov.mm/
Business options: register a business from $75 and sponsor your visa
Option 9: Stay in Vietnam:
Go on another human trafficking style border run, inflexible arrival and departure dates, no in-country renewal, inflexible entry/exit ports, $35 evisa + optional bribe.
At least use the official visa site: https://evisa.xuatnhapcanh.gov.vn/
Note these options are for an USA passport and your options may vary. Most countries require a round trip or proof of flight onward at end of the visa period, and flight estimates are one-way and will probably increase in the future. A previous version incorrectly stated China has resumed tourist visas, they only offer student and transit visas.