Ministry of Health Announces Dengue Fever Does Not Alter Sexual Orientation
Leading scientists have confirmed that contracting dengue fever does not, in fact, make one gay as a weatherman. The Ministry of Health’s announcement comes after months of rampant speculation of the Vietnamese youth who have been embracing fashion, dance, Taylor Swift, and having hairless, hot bods.
Those infected with dengue fever were reporting a sudden change in their sexual preferences, but doctors think in facing mortality one is more likely to gay it up if in a conservative society.”When facing death, one considers putting on their mom’s dress and hitting a drag show, and I think that’s natural, said Nguyen Pham, who recently was sucked my a mosquito. (Mosquito is his church friend’s drag name.)
Dr. Linh Thanh, the lead researcher at the Ministry of Health, stated, “We’ve conducted extensive research and can conclusively say that the dengue virus, transmitted by the Aedes mosquito, has absolutely no impact on an individual’s sexual orientation.”
Public health officials have emphasized the importance of focusing on preventive measures such as eliminating standing water and using insect repellent. “Let’s put our energy into fighting the real enemy here: mosquitoes, not our own hot man-lusting sexual identities,” commented Dr. Thinh.