Vietnamese Want English Refund
Vietnamese people across the country have come to the astonishing realization that they no longer need to learn English. After decades of prioritizing English language education as a means of staying competitive on the global stage, the nation has collectively decided to abandon this futile pursuit. The mesmerizing sound of English language learning centers closing their doors can be heard echoing through the streets.
Nguyen Thuy exclaimed, “I spent years trying to learn this language, investing my hard-earned money, and sacrificing countless hours memorizing vocabulary. But all I have to show for it is a slightly better ability to order a Big Mac at McDonald’s!”
It seems that English language education has become the Black Friday of educational investments. As the Vietnamese people fill the streets, desperately searching for a refund, others are lining up to seize this golden opportunity to replace English with more practical skills. Perhaps Vietnamese language centers will soon stock their shelves with “Charm Your Way Through Life” classes or “How to Influence Your Boss Using Comedic Facial Expressions” workshops.
In a country once obsessed with English proficiency, locals have now discovered the liberation that comes with abandoning this unnecessary endeavor. They have realized that focusing on their native language is far more valuable than being able to communicate with the rest of the world.
Vietnamese musicians have taken to rhyming exclusively in Vietnamese, which has struck a chord with the nation’s youth. Gone are the days when catchy English choruses dominated the music scene, as even the trending international tunes are now translated into Vietnamese to cater to the local audience. International pop stars have even begun demanding their songs be sung exclusively in Vietnamese, recognizing the growing wave of Vietnamese pride.
Tourism has also flourished thanks to this newfound nationalistic awakening. Foreign visitors are delighted to be met with an unforgiving language barrier at every corner. The Vietnamese people, with their refusal to adopt English signage or engage in any form of linguistic compromise, have created an immersive experience for tourists wanting to fully immerse themselves in the culture. After all, there’s nothing quite like the thrill of successfully playing a game of charades just to get a cup of coffee.
The national motto “Vietnamese First” has become the rallying cry for citizens embracing this newfound enthusiasm for their mothertongue. Schools have swiftly moved to implement exclusive Vietnamese language curricula, declaring English a relic of the past. Now, children gather around their teachers as they passionately recite Vietnamese poems and legends, while ignoring the unfortunate reality that the majority of the global population still communicates in English.
The consequences of this epiphany have been astounding. Job advertisements now proudly proclaim, “No English necessary!” This assertion appears to be a satisfactory qualification for employers and employees alike. Any remnants of bilingual job requirements in certain sectors have been promptly erased as HR departments celebrate the newfound efficiency and cost savings. Who needs English-speaking employees when there’s a world of monolingual job seekers right at our doorstep?
Yes, it seems Vietnam has stumbled upon a brilliant path toward isolationism. Who needs the rest of the world when you have your own language, culture, and a sense of superiority? Just ask an American.