By Nguyen Ayi
In a shocking turn of events, renowned climate activist, Whiney Sachs, has given up on his mission to avoid single-use plastics. Sachs, who has been an outspoken advocate for environmental conservation, has recently admitted defeat, citing the ubiquity of single-use plastics in every transaction and the emotional exhaustion that comes with trying to avoid them.
“I’ve been trying to do my part, but it’s just impossible,” said Sachs in a recent interview. “Everywhere I turn, there’s plastic cups, straws, and bags. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.”
Sachs went on to explain that he had come to the realization that no one individual can make a difference, and that it’s up to governments to take action by banning single-use plastics. Until then, Sachs has decided to embrace a toddler lifestyle by using a plastic cup and straw with every drink.
“I’ve decided to stop stressing about it and just enjoy life,” said Sachs, sipping from his plastic sippy cup. “If the world is going to drown in plastic, I might as well go down with a smile on my face.”
The news of Sachs’ surrender has been met with mixed reactions from the environmental community, with some praising his honesty and others criticizing his defeatist attitude.
“He’s given up too easily,” said fellow activist, Sally Sanctimonious. “We need to keep fighting and pushing for change. Giving in is not an option.”
Despite the criticism, Sachs seems content with his decision and plans to continue living his life with a newfound sense of freedom and ease.
“I’m not saying we should all give up on the environment,” said Sachs. “But sometimes, it’s okay to take a step back and enjoy the little things in life. Like a plastic sippy cup.”