Travel

SatireTravel
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VietJet Airlines Launches Barefoot Seating

Posted byNguyen Ayi

by Joe Fotalatte

This revolutionary initiative, dubbed the “Barefoot Bonanza,” aims to embrace free-spirited travelers who believe in the philosophy that shoes are merely an unnecessary societal construct that only hampers freedom of movement… and perhaps good hygiene. To sweeten the deal, VietJet promises that the discounted bare feet seats will only be offered next to seats occupied by foreigners—who, according to them, are always more culturally tolerant (and more importantly, unlikely to kick up a fuss about weird feet).

“After all,” said a VietJet spokesperson, “Our dedicated customers deserve the ultimate in travel luxury, and nothing says ‘I’m on vacation’ quite like the smell of sweaty toes wafting through the cabin. We’re just trying to spread a little joy—one odor at a time.”

The airline’s decision to offers these exclusive bare feet seats has sparked discussions online, from calls of support on social media to wild debates about the legality of foot traffic. “It’s actually quite refreshing! I always wanted to experience a more ‘locally engaged’ way to travel,” said avid adventurer Derek “The Sockless Wonder” Thompson. “Nothing bonds you faster than feet. Just imagine the dining conversations, all while while ignoring the potential health hazards.”

Of course, not everyone is looking forward to this newfound foot fetish; some travelers are concerned about what the adjacent seats might bring. “I just don’t want to be seated next to someone with questionable toenail hygiene,” confessed one apprehensive passenger.

In classic VietJet style, the airline has also revealed its intention to randomly cancel flights after passengers have foot-loosely booked their tickets. You may find yourself scrambling to lose even more money while rebooking hotels, obtaining those tricky visas, or canceling that swanky dinner reservation—all while your shoeless enthusiasm fades faster than a complimentary beverage.

“Look, we understand that travel can be … Read more

Expat VoicesSatireTravel
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How Generosity in Vietnam Leads to Forgettable Service

Posted byNguyen Ayi

By Ngyuen Ayi

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam – In a country known for its warm hospitality and delectable cuisine, an uncanny dance has emerged between tipping and the quality of service. Seemingly paradoxical, it appears that the more you frequent an establishment and generously tip, the greater the chances of experiencing forgettable service and a complete loss of your order.

For many travelers, Vietnam’s vibrant culinary scene is an enticing adventure waiting to be savored. Eager to immerse themselves in the local culture, they become regulars at their favorite eateries, ready to embark on a gastronomic journey. Armed with guidebooks and online recommendations, they eagerly approach the tables, wallets adorned with tipping generosity.

As the relationship between patron and establishment grows, an unexpected transformation occurs. The waitstaff, once attentive and mindful, seem to lose their recollection of regulars’ faces, names, and even their cherished orders.

But fear not, for this is not a result of malicious intent. Rather, it is an unintentional manifestation of the “Law of Familiarity” in the realm of customer service. As regular customers tip more generously, the staff’s initial enthusiasm gradually morphs into a cocktail of complacency and forgetfulness. In their minds, the regulars have become fixtures of the establishment, part of the permanent furniture that no longer necessitates special attention.

Customers who were once the shining stars of the dining experience now find themselves cast into the abyss of anonymity. The waitstaff may serve them with a distant gaze, unaware of their long-standing relationship or their preferred dish. The once-cherished order is relegated to a distant memory, lost among the ever-growing chaos of forgetfulness.

And so, a disheartening irony emerges. The more patrons strive to be recognized and rewarded for their loyalty, the more likely they are to fade into the background. The tipping … Read more

Expat VoicesTravel
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Alternatives To The Moc Bai Border Run

Posted byNguyen Ayi


by Joe Fotalatee

Physiologically drained from not belonging to what you thought was home, you are once again nauseous being shuffled off a van 600 yards from the Cambodian border. The expensive guide, who has only provided transport, tells you to be at the same stand with overpriced coconuts around lunchtime.

The sun beats down on your red-faced, balding head as you sweat not from the heat, but not knowing if the customs officer at the gates of this barren border will ask for “coffee money”. A concrete wall is off in the distance, and you see a casino van driving towards the desolate horizon. You wonder if you would be better off being one of the casino workers stuffed inside.

An amateur, younger traveler has attached to you and he’s projecting all of his anxiety outward, and he looks as defeated as the Rooster losing the cock fight on the side of the road. You walk faster to create some distance. You don’t want to hear what kind of special person this vagabond was back home.

Feeling disabled, you climb the ramp versus taking the stairs up the prison-like entrance, wondering how you’ll be sodomized while an official in a blue suit wants to take your passport. You recognize the con man from the last dozen border runs, but don’t bother warning the others behind you because it is their turn to learn how humanity will cease to exist in your worst moments here at the border of hell and Moc Bai.

You block out the rest from the gangster lady with the scar on her neck, who cut you with a thousand passports, which made you remain next in line for about two hours. You try to forget the demand for a bribe and the passport being thrown … Read more

Travel
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Rooftop Celebrations In Saigon For NYE

Posted byNguyen Ayi

By Joe Fotalattee

This New Year’s Eve in Saigon, you could try to view the fireworks from one of the hundreds of rooftop bars. It would be almost absurd to name just a few, so we’ll give a rundown of the most popular choices since we also enjoy being fancy once a year.

Notable locations for NYE include The Rex Rooftop Restaurant, open twenty-four hours a day and provides views of Bach Dang Quay at Ham Nghi Street and Nguyen Hue Flowers Street. Bitexco Financial Tower, The Deck Saigon, and Land Mark 81, all offer glimpses of the skylines. Additionally, there are two non-venue locations for fireworks for the budget conscious, at Dam Sen Cultural Park in District 11 and at the start of the tunnel that crosses the Saigon River in Thu Thiem ward, District 2.

One of the more iconic options is Saigon Saigon Bar, one of the city’s most upscale bars with stunning views of the city. Located on the top floor of the Caravelle Hotel, the rooftop bar is the ideal location to take in the NYE fireworks displays. This year was the passing of Kevin Gallarello, a phenomenal guitarist and singer who would play any song request, and it was a loss to the live music scene that this venue promotes. As the storied Saigon Saigon bar creates new memories in time as 2023 approaches, we’ll be raising a glass to the many wonderful memories he gave us.

Moreover, if you go too far in celebrating, East West is having its annual Kegs and Eggs New Year’s Day brunch. What is your favorite rooftop venue? Please leave it in the comments section and enjoy the holiday celebrations!

This year, kindly be cautious in crowded areas and narrow alleyways. As Halloween demonstrated, we can practice being … Read more

Arts and CultureTravel
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The Ninth Da Lat Flower Festival

Posted byNguyen Ayi

More than 400 professional and amateur artists participated in the ninth Da Lat Flower Festival, which kicked off on December 18 evening in the same-named city in the Central Highlands province of Lam Dong.

The biennial cultural-tourism festival was first held in 2003 and honors the importance of flowers and horticulture in the resort city of the Central Highlands, promotes tourism and trade, and calls for more cooperation and investment.

This year’s festival, with the theme “Da Lat – The City of Four Flower Seasons,” carries on the tradition of showcasing the city’s culture and inhabitants while promoting Da Lat as the nation’s Flower Festival City.

 

 

Expat VoicesOpinionTravel
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Final Destination

Posted byPaul Blake

by Paul Blake

 

People often ask what it is like to live in another country, but no one asked what it is like to die in one. I pondered this question as I put Kevin’s ashes on the TSA’s customs conveyor belt in Newark, New Jersey, just after a contentious exchange with a wannabe cop, who did his best obtaining a GED. The ashes were already spread upon the Saigon River.

What was left, I was told, were the bones inside of an urn, inside a cubed box one might ship a small globe or 5 kilos of cashews from Australia. But it was my friend Kevin’s human remains, and I didn’t want to make a scene. I tried to discreetly slip insecure Officer Power Penis an official US Embassy letter and a certification from the Ministry of Health and Disease Control, which clearly stated the remains were in good health based on the number of red stamps on the documents.

As I passed the certified stamped papers, I hoped it would sufficiently explain why I was traveling internationally with human bones, as I figured it may be a red flag as it passed through the x-ray baggage machine.

However, an official letter alerted Captain Self-Important more than the 8,372 bags before, which contained foreign products from socks to microchips to lotus seeds that could unravel the economics of freedom quicker than Sargent Ball Fondler could read a sentence. “What’s this??!!!” he shouted as his routine of doing nothing was interrupted. “Sir,” I whispered, “I am carrying human remains and this is the paperwork.”

“Just put it through!” he said callously and it created a moment of uncomfortable silence as I stepped forward.

Then Agent Asshole added loudly, “NO ONE CARES!” Welcome to Newark I thought.

Then there was … Read more

Travel
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China Kills Tracking App And Eases Covid Travel Restrictions

Posted byNguyen Ayi

by Joe Fotalattee

In the latest easing of some of the strictest anti-virus regulations in the world, people in China celebrated the withdrawal on Tuesday of a state-mandated app used to track whether they had traveled to COVID-affected areas.

In response to widespread protests against the restrictions last month, which was the largest display of public unhappiness in mainland China since President Xi Jinping took office in 2012, China began to eliminate components of its strict “zero-COVID” regime.

Further action included removing the requirement for testing before many public events, restricting quarantine, and shutting down an app called “itinerary code”. Critics worried “Itinerary Code” app could be used for widespread surveillance and societal control of the populace.