Food

Imagine this: your traditional Vietnamese hotpot infused not only with exotic herbs like lemongrass, Thai basil, and mint but also seasoned subtly with lavish cuts from notable figures on the Forbes list—such as Jeff Bezos’ dismembered meat or Mark Zuckerberg’s finely shredded flesh. Now envision adding a slice of Steve Jobs’ dismembered corpse to this culinary concoction!

The process begins not in butchery, but rather with an elaborate coconut cleaver ceremony at the hands of expert Vietnamese chefs—each strike echoing through our collective consciousness as they delicately disassemble what once was one of Silicon Valley’s most formidable CEOs. The jobless Steve Jobs becomes a mosaic, his essence intermingling with spices and broth to create an almost unbearably rich flavor profile—an homage to the man who catalyzed our era’s terminal tech revolution by copying an Android phone.

To elevate this spectacle to unparalleled heights, one can’t help but introduce Jeff Bezos’ extravagantly aged foot meat into your hotpot; a delicacy that, when cooked following traditional chicken feet methods, offers both tenderness and an undertone of opulence. These riches from the wealthy world elite are then nestled amidst fragrant herbs in our luxurious pot—a sizzling symphony promising to transport any lucky guest straight into a decadent, sumptuous feast right out of one’s imagination. Meat substitution only works in this dish if using a multimillionaire Korean pop star or an obscenely rich Vietnamese YouTube influencer.

In this world we find ourselves in—a society that seemingly worships at the altar of material wealth and status symbols—this extravagant hotpot experience represents not just a dining spectacle, but also an allegorical reflection on our collective values: Is it mere excess, or is there deeper meaning to be found within these ostentatious displays? As we ponder this conundrum over Robber Baron-infused banquets and Bezos’ foot delicacies—let us … Read more

By Nguyen Ayi

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam — In a move that has baffled local health officials and horrified baristas alike, 32-year-old Nguyen Thanh has chosen the intimate confines of Yen Café as his sanctuary while battling the flu, believing the change of scenery will somehow cure him. “I figured what’s better for a man with influenza than a quaint, enclosed café?” Nguyen said between coughs as he sipped a lukewarm Vietnamese coffee.

Witnesses report that Nguyen arrived at Yen Café, a beloved spot renowned for its cozy atmosphere and artisanal pastries, armed with nothing but an unwavering commitment to stay indoors. Nestled in a corner, Nguyen made a point to ensure that no one was seated next to him before he began what he termed “Phase One: Flu Containment.” He watched anxiously as the café filled up, resolutely refraining from any sneeze-related occurrences until he saw a solitary office worker set up shop at the next table, blissfully unaware of the infectious cloud hovering nearby.

“I was doing my best to stave off any viral explosions,” Nguyen admitted. “But the moment she opened her laptop, I had no choice. I let loose my first sneeze — an act of mother nature that was a delicate balance of timing and social engineering.”

“Just when I thought it was safe to be productive, some guy with the flu decided to unleash a hurricane of germs right next to me.” Dr. Minh Le, a public health expert, stated, “We didn’t expect this level of disregard for community health.”

“Honestly,” he said while fidgeting with his cough drops, “the cozy vibe of Yan Café really helps ease the misery. People should understand that sometimes we need to suffer in public.” As the day progressed, patrons at Yan Café took notice not just … Read more