Nguyen Ayi

Satire
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Unmuzzled Children And Men Peeing Outside

Satire by Joe Fotalattee

Numerous unmuzzled children and men were witnessed peeing outside in Binh Thanh and Phu Nhuan districts.

Drunk men now use Truong Sa Street and Hoang Sa Street along the canal as a toilet, which spans about eight kilometers and passes through seven districts, including District 1, District 3, District 10, Phu Nhuan, Tan Binh, Go Vap, and Binh Thanh.

“Many people are so irresponsible that they bring their children to this green space to poop, leaving behind strong odors,” said a street cleaning worker in Phu Nhuan District. “I mean there are people who use this space for their cute dogs.”

Many people downtown have been irresponsible with their children and husbands, allowing them to roam in public spaces and creating a nuisance in our natural spaces.

“I make sure mine wash their hands after, but it is hard to train others like the food vendors littering the neighborhood,” said Binh Vinh, who regularly disciplines his children with spankings and occasionally beats his wife.

Moc Lon, a mom at the park in District 3 added, “It isn’t inhumane to teach your kids simple hygiene. Don’t get me wrong, I am not some sociopath that hates animals, I just want people to behave better and use some common sense when it comes to the issues that matter.”

“I am honestly so sick of children running wild in the street like chickens. I don’t want to blame the parents when we could muzzle the children, or at least have one of those kid leashes,” said Con Dee, a local business owner of a dangerous and amateur plastic surgery business in Phu Nhuan.

“These parents should get their kids a pet so they learn some responsibility and empathy. I wouldn’t want my kid growing up to become some asshole, … Read more

Expat VoicesTravel
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Alternatives To The Moc Bai Border Run


by Joe Fotalatee

Physiologically drained from not belonging to what you thought was home, you are once again nauseous being shuffled off a van 600 yards from the Cambodian border. The expensive guide, who has only provided transport, tells you to be at the same stand with overpriced coconuts around lunchtime.

The sun beats down on your red-faced, balding head as you sweat not from the heat, but not knowing if the customs officer at the gates of this barren border will ask for “coffee money”. A concrete wall is off in the distance, and you see a casino van driving towards the desolate horizon. You wonder if you would be better off being one of the casino workers stuffed inside.

An amateur, younger traveler has attached to you and he’s projecting all of his anxiety outward, and he looks as defeated as the Rooster losing the cock fight on the side of the road. You walk faster to create some distance. You don’t want to hear what kind of special person this vagabond was back home.

Feeling disabled, you climb the ramp versus taking the stairs up the prison-like entrance, wondering how you’ll be sodomized while an official in a blue suit wants to take your passport. You recognize the con man from the last dozen border runs, but don’t bother warning the others behind you because it is their turn to learn how humanity will cease to exist in your worst moments here at the border of hell and Moc Bai.

You block out the rest from the gangster lady with the scar on her neck, who cut you with a thousand passports, which made you remain next in line for about two hours. You try to forget the demand for a bribe and the passport being thrown … Read more

Satire
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Imperialist Foreigner Complains About Eight Cents

Satire by Joe Fotalattee

“It’s the principle!”, shouted Chip Sharts, 47, as he posted about being overcharged 2,000VND in the Facebook Expat group. Tinh Quyen had made Sharts a 15k sugar cane juice on Friday in Tan Dinh district. Sharts says she normally charges 12K for the large cup and figures that she suspected he wouldn’t know any better.

Sharts in an exclusive to The Beat, said, “I just moved in next door and signed a two-year lease. I live here and drink sugarcane twice a day. Now, I have to pass this lady every day and get my sugarcane around the block.” He was considering a police report over the eight cents but doesn’t know how to because he doesn’t speak the local language after 15 years of living in Saigon.

Sharts remained baffled, “That’s over seven million VND she won’t get from me the next two years, I just don’t get it.” His salary at an international school for four days a week is 30x that of Quyen who has been working from 6 am-11 pm seven days a week for the past 12 years. Quyen told The Beat she would return the eight cents difference if given the chance, but “had already invested it in BitCoin.”

Sharts doesn’t hold it against her and says he is understanding the difference between cultures. “I consider myself multicultural and completely understand where those people are coming from, and accept that they have an overall general culture of dishonesty.”

When asked what his local wife thought of the ordeal, he stated he didn’t know where she was right now. “I think she is visiting her grandma at the hospital.”

Exclusive update and correction: undercover investigative reporters from The Beat patronized the Nuoc Mia stand, and indeed the price is Read more

New BriefsNewsReal Estate Crash
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News Briefs: Silacon, Dead Cats, Dead Mule, And Da Lat Coffee Fest

By Joe Fotalattee

Silacon
The Saigon Silicon City project, which was based in Silicon Valley, was first put into motion in 2016. Since the project in Ho Chi Minh City has been on hold for years, the city will revoke the investment certificate.

Vo Van Hoan, a vice-chairman of Ho Chi Minh City, asked relevant departments and agencies to work with the hi-tech park to speed up the process of terminating the project and revoking the investment certificate and land.

A representative from SHTP stated that the park will work in conjunction with the municipal Department of Planning and Investment as well as the Department of Justice to complete the necessary steps to revoke the project investment certificate.



Death Sentence For Mule

A Laotian man was given a death sentence by a court in Vietnam’s central Ha Tinh Province for bringing 7,000 amphetamine pills and one kilogram of ketamine into the country. It determined that Yer Vang, 28, had transported drugs illegally. “.

On August 16, 2022, while Yer was completing the necessary formalities to enter Vietnam at the Cau Treo International Border Gate in Huong Son District, Ha Tinh border guards and customs officers checked the vehicle he was operating.


Dalat Coffee Festival

The Buon Ma Thuot Coffee Festival will take place from March 10 to 14. Customers on the street will be offered local coffee along a street of stands.

At the upcoming coffee festival, Tran Duc Nhat, deputy chairman of Buon Ma Thuot, announced that “about 300 cafés in the city will serve free coffee to locals and tourists.”.


Dead Cats

Four tonnes of frozen dead cats and 480 live cats were discovered during a police raid on a household business on Thursday in Dong Thap Province, southern Vietnam.

A 63-year-old representative of the Nguyen Huy Quyen-owned … Read more

Expat VoicesSatire
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Aging Expat “Loves His Teaching Job”



Satire by Joe Fotalattee

Hugh Jaynus, 55, has been living in Vietnam for 15 years and has no regrets. Jaynus was previously a financial planner in New Orleans and discovered English teaching when he came here in 2007.

“I spent a few years paying into Social Security and retirement, and it was nice to let go of my nine-to-five.”

Jaynus now teaches six days a week and uses most of his free time for lesson planning and grading homework.

“I always tell people, they can do this, too. I love it!”

Jaynus uses the foreign tax income credit and brags that he hasn’t had to pay taxes in over a decade. “I can save about $300 a month, and helped my girlfriend’s family buy a little plot of coffee land.” Jaynus wasn’t able to point out the land on a map for The Beat but says he has seen pictures of it. “I just have to pay another $3,000 and they’ll send pictures of the Red Book,” Jaynus explained through a persistent cough.

Jaynus says he lives like a king in Vietnam, but hasn’t been able to find the right cleaner for his 3BR apartment he shares with two other English teachers.

His previous career provided Jaynus with medical, paid vacation, training, support services, and a pension, which he is happy to have left all behind.

“I no longer think about the old career or my future, it is great to be in the present moment.” Jaynus says a gratitude journal helps him stay humble as he risks his life through chaotic traffic traveling from school to school on his own time.

“I just love it!”

New BriefsNews
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News Briefs Feb. 16, 2023: Expect Higher Electric Prices, Binh Duong Shines, New Football Coach

by Joe Fotalattee

Vietnam’s State Utility EVN In The Red

Reuters is reporting Vietnam’s state utility EVN will experience losses of 64.9 trillion dong ($2.75 billion) this year.

According to a statement from the government, this will result in losses totaling 93.8 trillion dong for the nation’s leading electricity retailer over the past two years.

Vietnam earlier this month raised the average floor price for retail electricity by 13.69 percent, a move that is expected to pave the way for EVN to raise its prices.


Two Korean Businessmen Sentenced For Violating Immigration Laws

Lee Kwan Yuong, 55, and Seo Yuong Jin, 50, were found guilty of “organizing illegal entry into Vietnam” by a Da Nang court on Wednesday. ” and given a ten year jail sentence.

Two years ago they brought in 189 South Koreans to Da Nang illegally in violation of Covid safety regulations, Both have businesses and a home in the city. Lee serves as the association of South Koreans vice chairman in central Vietnam.

Between December 2020 and March 2021 Lee and Seo organized four flights to bring in South Koreans looking to enter Vietnam using their businesses. Seo took home VND85 million, while Lee made over 1 billion VND (US$42,400) from it.


Binh Duong A Top Location For Foreign Direct Investment

By the end of 2022, Binh Duong Province had attracted over 4,082 FDI projects with almost US$40 billion in registered funds, placing it second only to HCM City in terms of FDI attraction in the country.

With US$3.94 billion and US$3.14 billion, respectively, HCM City and Binh Duong were the top locations for FDI attraction in 2022.

In 2023, the southeast will still be the country’s main FDI magnet, according to the Foreign Investment Agency of the Ministry of Planning and Investment (MPI). The nation … Read more

FinanceTech
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Apple Supplier Expands Investment In Vietnam

By Joe Fotalattee

According to South China Morning Post (SCMP), Foxconn, Apple’s largest contractor, has decided to invest US$62.5 million into a land lease agreement in the Vietnamese province of Bac Giang to grow its operations there.

The Saigon – Bac Giang Industrial Park Corp. and the Taiwanese behemoth, formerly known as Hon Hai Precision Industry, have agreed to the terms to “meet its operational needs and increase production capacity”.

The site was rented through Foxconn’s subsidiary Fulian Precision Technology Component Co., which is situated in the Quang Chau Industrial Park in the province of Bac Giang. According to the company, the lease is valid until February 2057.

Last August, Foxconn, and a Vietnamese developer agreed to build a new factory in Bac Giang for the production of iPads and AirPods. The deal was worth $300 million.