Nguyen Ayi

A local business in Ho Chi Minh City has created an altar dedicated to Buddha in the middle of their boutique. The awkwardly positioned statue, located near the front door, is causing more confusion than actual devotion.

While most businesses focus on creating a welcoming environment for customers and hiring attentive staff, this business seems to think that praying to a statue is the key to success. According to sources, the owner believes that the more they pray to Buddha, the more customers will flock to their store.

But this questionable strategy isn’t the only issue. Customers have complained about the lack of attention from staff, who seem more interested in scrolling through social media on their phones than assisting customers with their purchases.

When confronted about these concerns, the owner of the store stated that praying to Buddha is more effective than actually paying attention to customers. “Buddha is like Santa Claus,” the owner explained, “you ask for something and he delivers it to you. If we just focus on pleasing customers, we might risk losing our spiritual edge.”

While some customers might be drawn in by the exotic aesthetics of the boutique, it seems that overall, the altar to Buddha is seen as a confusing and inadequate substitute for genuine customer service. Customers expect a business to meet their needs, not to pray for them.

In addition to their reliance on prayer, the business also seems to lack basic business skills such as marketing and inventory management. “Those things are just too complicated,” the owner admitted. “Prayer is much easier. And besides, this is family money anyway. We can always get a loan we won’t pay back if the Buddha statue or our dead relatives don’t come through for us.”

It’s clear that the business is taking a … Read more

Saigon’s English teaching shortage has been a concern for years, but good news has finally arrived. Thanks to increased documentation and educational requirements, this shortage is no more! That’s right, all you need to do is make the process so complicated that seasoned educators with years of experience in the field move to other countries.

It turns out that having a degree in English and a teaching certification just doesn’t cut it anymore. In order to teach the language, you must have a degree in education. This has caused many longtime educators to throw in the towel and leave the country, paving the way for fresh-faced, inexperienced teachers who can meet these new requirements.

All of these new regulations have made Saigon’s English teaching system just like other Asian countries, except without the decent full-time salary or benefits. China, Korea, Japan, and countless other countries offer full-time pay, benefits, flights and housing. Middle-aged English teachers in Vietnam who have been in the game for years are left with no benefits and no future retirement plans, unlike underpaid HR rejecting talent or teaching assistants who complain about their pay now, but will surely be raking in the dough once they hit middle age.

It seems that the English teaching industry in Saigon is mimicking the Mexican fruit pickers in America. Sure, Mexicans get free housing, but middle-aged English teachers are left with nothing but a stack of papers and a degree that is no longer relevant. The good news is, if you’re a fresh-faced, inexperienced teacher looking for work, Saigon is the place to be! Just make sure you have the right paperwork, and you’ll be on your way to a short and fruitful career.

A Paradise of Surveilled Secrets and Unfiltered Confessions

Saigon, Vietnam – In a bizarre twist that blurs the lines between privacy and voyeurism, the owner of a local bar, aptly named Potato, has taken surveillance to unprecedented heights. With a zeal that borders on obsession, this bar owner has transformed their establishment into a den of cameras, microphones, and potentially embarrassing revelations.

As you step into Potato Bar, you might feel a strange tingling sensation down your spine. It’s not just the buzz of conversations and clinking glasses that fills the air; it’s the owner’s insatiable desire to capture every moment, every word, and every awkward drunk dance move for posterity. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the bar where Big Brother meets mixology.

The owner’s obsession with surveillance knows no bounds. With not one, but two camera angles meticulously covering every square inch of the bar, they revel in the ability to catch their customers in compromising situations. Whether it’s a drunken confession of undying love or a botched attempt at breakdancing, no moment escapes the watchful eyes of the omnipresent cameras.

But it doesn’t stop there. Oh no, every square inch of the bar is micro-phoned and taped, allowing the owner to eavesdrop on every conversation as if they were a fly on the wall. The perverse pleasure derived from hearing customers’ deepest secrets, uncensored jokes, and even mundane complaints brings a wicked grin to the owner’s face and a wetness to their under-regions.

The potential for scandal is endless. Imagine one of Potato Bar’s regulars deciding to run for public office. The owner’s surveillance footage could easily contain a treasure trove of embarrassing moments, from drunk fart jokes to impromptu karaoke performances of questionable talent. It’s the stuff of campaign nightmares and the owner’s secret delight.

As … Read more

By Ngyuen Ayi

In a relationship that defies the laws of time, space, and common sense, a Vietnamese partner has taken the art of knowing each other’s whereabouts to new, otherworldly heights. Despite the partner’s penchant for disappearing for days on end to visit alternate realities, attending classes at bizarre hours like Sunday evenings, and participating in ghostly possession events during death anniversaries, the other half remains undeterred in their quest to keep tabs on their loved one.

While most couples rely on mundane methods like texting or phone calls to check in on each other, this extraordinary Vietnamese partner has mastered the art of multiverse navigation and time bending to maintain an unprecedented level of surveillance.

While their partner embarks on interdimensional adventures, hopping between parallel realities and exploring the mysteries of the cosmos, the ever-watchful partner is left to grapple with the mind-boggling question of “Where on Earth—or beyond—is my significant other now?”

But fear not, dear readers, for this Vietnamese partner possesses a unique set of skills. They have honed their abilities to keep track of their loved one’s whereabouts even in the most extraordinary circumstances. Armed with a supernatural GPS and an unrelenting determination, they navigate the complex web of alternate realities, transcending time and space to ensure their partner’s location is never truly a mystery.

Picture this: It’s a lazy Sunday evening, the perfect time for relaxation and quality time together. But in this relationship, Sunday evenings are reserved for attending classes at the oddest hours. Who needs a conventional schedule when you can embrace the quirks of the multiverse? While the rest of the world enjoys their leisurely evenings, this extraordinary Vietnamese partner immerses themselves in knowledge, undeterred by the limitations of time and societal norms.

And let us not forget the death anniversaries, … Read more