By Nguyen Ayi
In the old days, pizza delivery meant reusable hot bags and the smell of melted cheese wafting through the air. But now, in Vietnam, thanks to the plastic industry’s stranglehold on politicians, every item is delivered with a side of plastic.
Gone are the days of environmentally friendly deliveries. Now, every pizza box is wrapped in plastic, which is then wrapped in another plastic bag, just for good measure. And it’s not just pizza – every takeaway item is now covered in a cocoon of plastic, all in the name of “convenience.”
Despite the mounting evidence against plastic, businesses continue to demand it. Why? Because the plastic industry owns all the politicians in Asia, and they’re not about to let their profits take a hit.
In a bold move, a popular pizza chain in Vung Tau, Pizza Papprazi, has decided to stop pretending that they care about the environment. Their new plastic bag branding reads, “Taste Matters, Planet Doesn’t,” leaving no room for misinterpretation.
“Let’s face it, folks. The world is going to end in a few years anyway, so why bother with all this eco-friendly nonsense?” said the CEO of the Vung Tau pizza chain in a press conference. “Our customers come to us for the taste, not the sustainability. And let’s be real, what’s the point of saving the planet when we won’t be around to enjoy it?”
The new branding has caused outrage among environmentalists, who have already been struggling to combat plastic pollution. “This is a slap in the face to all the hard work we’ve been doing to save the planet,” said one activist. “It’s a complete disregard for the future of our planet and the generations to come.”
Despite the backlash, the pizza chain is standing by their decision and even plans to introduce new plastic packaging for their pizzas. “We’re not going to apologize for giving our customers what they want,” said the CEO. “And if that means contributing to the destruction of the planet, then so be it.”
It remains to be seen whether the pizza chain’s new branding will have any impact on their frozen pizza sales, but one thing is clear: the planet is in trouble if more companies follow their lead.
So the next time you order a pizza, think about the plastic bags it comes wrapped in. Think about the politicians who are in the pockets of the plastic industry. And think about the future that we’re creating for ourselves – one where we will all die early deaths because of our addiction to plastic.