What’s with that one stray, darker, thicker, and slightly less curly pube?
Ho Chi Minh City— While Scott Deshew, a foreign IT worker, is usually unfazed by the state of Saigon’s bathrooms, he claims everything is up to Western standards at this point. According to Deshew, hand soap is available, bathrooms are clean, patrons generally keep their shorts on, and they even have the little plastic balls to shoot at. “At least it’s not like using a public restroom in the States. There, you risk encountering a right wing congressman.”
Airports used to be the only places with clean restrooms that met his expectations, but now there are Western-style toilets for his convenience everywhere. “But what’s with that one stray, darker than normal, thicker, and slightly less curly Asian pube?” Deshew inquired.
Scott began to wonder if squatter toilets should make a comeback. “Apparently, they were known to be more sanitary, and now we’re experiencing an increase in colon cancer. Maybe squatting is the secret to a healthy colon. It’s either that or lobbying for protecting the bidet as a national treasure”, Deshew said while reflecting on the rise in obesity in children, and the increasing number of McDonald’s opening up.
Reflecting on the cultural differences, Deshew added, “I thought I might need to enroll in a bathroom etiquette class. How do you address a stray hair? Do you call it out like a lost child? ‘Excuse me! Is this yours?’
Scott found himself trying to sink the rogue pube like an arcade game, aiming his stream with the precision of a seasoned gamer. “At least it’s not a cigarette butt,” he chuckled. “If it were, the only option would be to reach in and pick it up like the claw prize game. I’ve never smoked a free cigarette pulled from a urinal, but if there’s a study on the health benefits, I just might consider it—anything to spice up my life instead of scrolling through Asian watersports porn!”
Responding to the sense of community, he noted, “There’s camaraderie in shared confusion. I’ve bonded with locals over the mystery of that stray pube.”