As the winds howl and the skies darken over Danang, residents are finding themselves in a predicament that feels alarmingly familiar to one demographic in particular: English teachers caught in the delicate web of drug-related misdemeanors. Yes, as the government issues warnings about the approaching typhoon, it seems the locals are getting a taste of what it feels like to be an international educator with a penchant for poor decision-making. Former teacher and current Danang resident, Tommy Milfhunter lamented, “At least at school and in prison, you get the same bell for recess.”
In Danang, homes are becoming the new cells. Residents stare out at the furious winds, channeling their inner English teacher who, coincidentally, is also wearing sweatpants. After all, you’re in lockdown; might as well look like you just rolled out of bed after a late-night Netflix binge. That horizon you used to love? It’s now obscured by the mental bars of impending doom.
“We’re under a mandatory lockdown,” one resident remarked, looking wistfully out the window. “Reminds me of those English teachers who say they can’t leave the house because they’ve been ‘detained for questioning.'”
What does it mean to be “locked down” during a typhoon? Well, it appears to be a much more terrifying and windswept version of the usual school day. Those ‘detained’ English teachers might have an edge, as they often find themselves under the presumption that if they can survive a life confined with teenage students, nothing really shakes them.
But for Danang residents, the reality might be a tad more grim. It’s like sharing a prison cell with someone who insists on breaking into spontaneous poetry. “Hey, can you keep it down? I’m trying to survive a typhoon here!”
In prison, you get one meal a day, limited communication, and the occasional yard time. In contrast, Danang residents are hoarding instant noodles like their lives depend on it. They are now stockpiling food as if they’ve just been sentenced to life without parole or that limited edition ramen might just be the key to survival.
Much like the English teachers who make elaborate plans to pass the time while waiting to be released, Danang residents have taken to crafting their escape plans—DIY style. Will they build a raft out of their furniture? When life gives you storms, make sure you’ve stocked up on snacks, because in lockdown—or as some may say, “prison”—no one can hear you scream.