Saigon, Vietnam– E-Mart has unveiled its latest product line: hotpot cooking pots made in China with questionable craftsmanship, these pots have a unique feature — they simply refuse to turn off, putting Saigon’s apartment fires on speed dial.
Emart also offers signature, diabetes-causing 50,000 VND pizza slices as part of their brand of profit-driven harm. Those who lack patience to wait for the effects of saturated-fat, ultra-processed food may appreciate the quicker thrill of an electrical fire.
E-Mart CEO elaborated on the inspiration behind this new expansion. “For years, some people were selling burnt corn cancer coffee on the streets for profit,” he declared, cracking a self-satisfied grin. “Why not take it up a notch as profits should always come before people’s safety?”
This month, the rejected freight costs for poorly designed cookware were serious bargain buys, and E-Mart is more than thrilled. “My house remodeling needs a bit of a boost, so I say, let the pots boil over!” His enthusiasm for enhanced profits is undeniable, even if it risks turning Saigon into a virtual inferno.
When asked for comments, several E-Mart customers were puzzled but still hopeful. “I heard these pots are “to die for”… literally,” chuckled local resident Minh. “Who needs a fire alarm when you can just live on the edge?”
E-Mart has effectively doubled its sales strategy by encouraging customers to purchase complementary fire extinguishers from the neighboring aisle. “It’s a win-win!” boasted the E-Mart CEO. “Buy a pot, get a discount on a fire extinguisher! This month’s profits are cooking up warm and bright!”
