By Nguyen Ayi
Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam — In a move that has baffled local health officials and horrified baristas alike, 32-year-old Nguyen Thanh has chosen the intimate confines of Yen Café as his sanctuary while battling the flu, believing the change of scenery will somehow cure him. “I figured what’s better for a man with influenza than a quaint, enclosed café?” Nguyen said between coughs as he sipped a lukewarm Vietnamese coffee.
Witnesses report that Nguyen arrived at Yen Café, a beloved spot renowned for its cozy atmosphere and artisanal pastries, armed with nothing but an unwavering commitment to stay indoors. Nestled in a corner, Nguyen made a point to ensure that no one was seated next to him before he began what he termed “Phase One: Flu Containment.” He watched anxiously as the café filled up, resolutely refraining from any sneeze-related occurrences until he saw a solitary office worker set up shop at the next table, blissfully unaware of the infectious cloud hovering nearby.
“I was doing my best to stave off any viral explosions,” Nguyen admitted. “But the moment she opened her laptop, I had no choice. I let loose my first sneeze — an act of mother nature that was a delicate balance of timing and social engineering.”
“Just when I thought it was safe to be productive, some guy with the flu decided to unleash a hurricane of germs right next to me.” Dr. Minh Le, a public health expert, stated, “We didn’t expect this level of disregard for community health.”
“Honestly,” he said while fidgeting with his cough drops, “the cozy vibe of Yan Café really helps ease the misery. People should understand that sometimes we need to suffer in public.” As the day progressed, patrons at Yan Café took notice not just of Nguyen’s incessant sneezing but also of his burgeoning social relationship with the office worker next to him, who silently decided to work from home after catching Nguyen’s eye right before his fifth sneeze. “I’ve learned that despite my flu, my infectious personality can also shine through.”
As Nguyen plotted to ensconce himself at Yan Café indefinitely, one thing is clear: in the battle between man and germs, Nguyen is determined to make the café his flu-ridden fortress, one latte and sneeze at a time. “A small price to pay for good coffee,” he fully endorsed, as around him, the rest of Ho Chi Minh City braced for the potential flu outbreak of the decade.
